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Are we There Yet? Yes?! Darn. Sawgrass Marriott Resort in Jacksonville, FL

April 29, 2013

It’s not as bad as the Disney Sheraton, but it’s close. I find myself trapped in a Marriott resort for a meeting. It smells like a Marriott, kind of dusty with hints of clorox.

Welcome to hall.  Always a cart or two out for your viewing pleasure.

Welcome to hall. Always a cart or two out for your viewing pleasure.

I am in glorious hamster cage number 428, which is distinguishable from all of the other rooms here only by its number. Here is what Marriott has for us today. (There are no flowers. There is no note. There is some water I can buy for $6.)

Rectangle view one.

Rectangle view one.

Rectangle view two.

Rectangle view two.

Yay! A plastic shower of the most banal possible type.

Plastic shower at the Marriott (well, what did you expect?!).

Plastic shower at the Marriott (well, what did you expect?!).

Bzap.

Bzap.

Maybe I can plug in my ipod? Uh, no. Should have brought along some CDs?! Really?

Real new "digital" technology.

Real new “digital” technology.

Yes, Marriott continues to bore. I’m afraid to even go down and look at the bar. When do I get to go to NY??

One sad drippy showerhead for this place. Avoid.

At least it's in Florida.

At least it’s in Florida.

Here’s a little story. A buddy and I came back from a late dinner last night and decided to have a night cap around 11. Fraternity boy server dude (think Spicoli only less cool) was asked to bring some sparkling water and two glasses when he brought our drinks, one glass with ice, another without. 15 minutes later he returns with a tiny bottle of Pelegrino. Said, “That’s a bit small to share, can you get us a big one instead?” Leaves for another 10 minutes. Returns with nothing. “There were no more big bottles,” he said, “Sorry, man.” “But what about the little bottle you brought before?” “Oh I gave that to someone else.” FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. Marriott, what has become of hospitality in ‘merica?

And another. Having a breakfast meeting with a work buddy. Arrive a bit early and request a table. Ask server to sit by window. “Oh you can see just as well from here,” she says directing me to a decidedly non-window table. “I really don’t want to sit here, but I will if you make me.” Silence. “You see sir, sections, <blah blah blah middle management blather>." "Yes, but I don't want to sit here. Do you understand that? I will do so, but I don't want to." Sat there.

Story 3. Wrote down stuff that was broken in my room in a note and put a URL to this entry. When I was walking by the front desk they asked me how my stay was going. I said, “Glad you asked, here is some information about that.” Heard nothing at all from management about the note. Not even at checkout.

Speaking of which, the cute blond at checkout asks, “How was your stay with us? Did you enjoy your evenings?” “Not really. I provided some feedback about that.”
Blink. Blink. She replies. Silence. Nothing. Who trains these people?

3 Responses to “Are we There Yet? Yes?! Darn. Sawgrass Marriott Resort in Jacksonville, FL”


  1. […] our pathetic week trapped at the Sawgrass Marriott a quick trip to NY was just the antidote we needed. Ah Kimpton. Get this, the staff is well trained […]


  2. […] for a Marriott property, this one sure beats the living daylights out of the Goldman Sachs owned Sawgress in Florida. Come here instead, it’s way […]


  3. […] can I say, it’s a Marriott. Beats the Sawgrass. About in the same league as the Battle […]


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