Stuck in Texas: The Dallas Hotel Zaza
April 1, 2023
Imagine there is no worse airline than United domestic? Think again! American Airlines pulled absolute garbage service on my last trip. First some background.
A last minute talk opportunity popped up and the hosts promised to pay for a business class day trip. So the plan was to fly into Dallas at 9am (departing the house at 5:15am) and get home before 10pm. Ha!
The talk was great and the day was going smoothly, and then American Airlines operations just FUBARed things up. I mean wow. First there was the drip delay supposedly cause by weather (there was no weather), then there was a plane and no crew, then the crew landed at a gate 40 minutes away, and then, the coup de grace, the captain timed out and walked away. Leaving 300 or so people stranded in Dallas all wanting to get to Washington DC.
American, after some real delay during which I purchased a seat on the only United flight to Dulles the next day, “rebooked” me on puddle hoppers through some tiny ass Ohio town and into DCA. Nope. I flew United the next day and burned 24 hours.
American Airlines had a hard time accepting my rejiggering as reality. After a couple of hours of bullshit and waiting 10 days, they refunded my original business class leg. They had to be forced to do that. No more American Airlines for me!
Anyway, Hotel Zaza in Dallas came up during a cursory search for hip hotels. And off I went, arriving around 10pm…ironically the same time I was due to be in my own bed at home.
I think I was assigned 418. Of course no clothes and no bathroom amenities were with me.
At least the shower was top notch.
Here is the free bathroom stuff you get for your money. Yuck.
Finding a cocktail nearby at 11 was a thing. Even super barman Jacques was at a loss and sorry I was stuck in Dallas. LOL.
The car service at Zaza was good and was more than willing to drive me 4 blocks in style.
The Kennedy room (above) was a dive serviced by kids who were utterly clueless. Don’t even bother. Beau Nash looked promising, but closed at 11pm on a Wednesday. So it was off to the Tipsy Alchemist on a tip from the bartender at Beau Nash.
Though I was the wrong demographic being over 35, the cocktails were well made, and there was real bourbon in the house. Needless to say, insanity reigned after too many shots, but I somehow woke up back at the hotel in the morning. So that was good.
Actual real Weller in the house.
After a somewhat late breakfast at the hotel (pretty not bad, but also unremarkable), a visit to the Dallas Art Museum was in store.
I felt kind of like the picture above. DFW airport was still a pit. Overcrowded and old. The United gates are way better than the American worn out 80s mall gates through.
Three showerheads for the Zaza. Lets just skip Dallas from now on.
Three tacos in Pheonix
December 18, 2022
When United fucks up ops, they do it spectacularly. NPS was headed to phoenix for a meeting. The four hour flight delay (equipment related on a route that has no other backups) caused us to land after the meeting was over. Just ridiculous.
So we did a post meeting rendez-vous and headed to Scottsdale for a taco.
I almost forgot. Dulles was all dressed up for the holidays.
And it was a complete zoo. Security was packed. This is the TSApre line.
Scottsdale fountain with a Belgian photo bomb.
Tourist tacos for the win. And a margerita too, of course.
We admired the lights and did some sock shopping in town.
FAST
SLOW
Finally we swung by the Westin in Tempe for a fantastic Negroni. Who knows why, but that hotel bar is one of the best in town?!
Anyway, United still sucks.
Quick Hit in NYC: Hotel Indigo is Very Corporate
October 17, 2022
What was to be a long weekend in the city shrunk down to one night when business did its usual thing of melting away. NPS stayed on the lower east side on somewhat of a whim. The verdict? Meh.
Thing is, Madou had no idea that we weren’t in midtown. So we shlepped up there for sushi at Sushi by Bou. Which was hilarious and definitely worth the subway time.
Waygu and uni…surf and turf @mmadou pic.twitter.com/BBZUfT75ih
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) September 7, 2022
The place is tiny, so make a reservation. Immediately after coffee, it was back downtown for our meetings, and then back to midtown for dinner at Freemans. Dinner was great.
But skip the rice pudding fad! LOL. Ride pudding is way too filling to catch on.
After dinner, the plan was to wedge into PDF, but the hot dog place was being its persnickety self. So instead we headed to Amor Y Amargo for some fantastic cocktails. We made up an experimental cocktail called the McGillicutty.
The Indigo was generic and boring. All of the Kimpton magic has dispersed.
The shower is not plastic.
The lower east side is close to some stuff, we guess.
NPS doesn’t remember the room number. Not returning.
Back to EWR you go (in an early Uber).
The United club is all new and fancy, but the flights are still delayed.
All told, three showerheads and no more strikes for Kimpton. Anybody have a good boutique hotel chain to offer?
Lets Compare Airlines: 6 Trips Across the Pond, Summer 2022
August 5, 2022
We knew it was a very silly plan when we dreamed it up. We just didn’t know HOW silly. In any case, the very silly plan involved crossing the Atlantic six times this summer, which provided a nice opportunity to compare business class travel on three distinctly different airlines.
The verdict? Swiss Air wins hands down by miles. Then lufthansa comes in fifth of three. And united? Tenth of three. LOL. Not even close.
Here are more details.
The Lufthansa 747-8 upper deck is fun. The pods are not particularly roomy, but it is nice to have a dedicated business class bathroom or two and a distinctly private environment away from the scrum.
We flew to Frankfurt and got picked up in a red camaro.
Seat 85C on the upper deck of a @lufthansa B747-8. pic.twitter.com/10gyj7dZN6
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) June 23, 2022
Some of the time was spent in Heidelberg.
A train took us to the airport to depart Germany. Getting a train directly into Frankfurt airport is very easy and convenient.
The flight back on a Lufthansa A330-300 was more cramped than the 747-800 and really was not as nice. Not a big fan of the airbus. Much less room to get comfortable.
Pod 3C on @lufthansa A330-300. Back across the pond (crossing 2 of 6 this summer) pic.twitter.com/hPKCgarak2
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) June 30, 2022
We flew back to experience the closing of the digital psychedelic art show and to give a talk for the locals about Machine Learning Security. (Always keep your promises!)
And then it was a ridiculous two day turnaround to fly to Milan (through Frankfurt again). This equipment sure seems familiar! Upstairs again for a flight that was late once again but very comfortable.
Pod 84H on @lufthansa B747-8. Late as usual. The plan is to sleep. pic.twitter.com/NVmjCT0EPX
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 2, 2022
We did some music in Italy.
My art face. LOL.
The art itself: Into the Unknown.
Since my flight from Milano to Zurich was cancelled (Swiss Air has decided not to fly the northern Italian routes any more), I opted for the fast train through the alps. Just beautiful and very fast. The only issue was all the stuff I had (a huge guitar, a violin, a mandolin, a tube of art and a big roller bag).
Getting all the stuff on the train to Zurich and finally getting a taxi to the airport was a thing. The Zurich train station was under construction and a pain in the ass to negotiate. Finding the taxi stand was a serious challenge and nobody seemed to want to help.
Dang pic.twitter.com/q0pFcZFwC5
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) June 30, 2022
So we were grumpy, but everything was very smooth at Zurich airport in spite of our SSSS security status. TIronically, the SSSS actually speeded me through security faster. And a surprize upgrade came through!
Upgraded on a Swiss Air hop to Boston! Wow. The seat was enormous and the service was a blast! Best by far.
Even the food was great. Like you might even eat it not on an airplane.
Upgraded to first from business. Well that helps. Thanks @FlySWISS. Pod (living room?) 1D on a swiss air pic.twitter.com/iU3Rnd76AY
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 15, 2022
Actual espresso macchiatto
Standard issue mimosa.
What to do with all this room on the card table sized table? Wine tasting!
The crew was a blast (see more below).
The food was delicious and not overcooked.
Cheese for dessert.
Even Grappa.
The silliest thing that happened in all of these cross-Atlantic hops was the wine tasting. Since the card table sized table was so huge we decided to fill it up. Much fun was had.
So it was off to NH for a day to play music, and then a hop down to repack suitcases through Dulles.
Poor moonshine was sad to see me go again.
Finally the time came to take some actual United business class flights. This plan was a B767-400. The pods are a bit tight and the service is nowhere near as good as lufthansa or Swiss Air. On our way to Madrid, our flight attendant was unable to remember that we requested expedited service. And god forbid you know that you can request slippers and an extra pad for sleeping!
Headed to Spain in @united pods 5A and B. Polaris for the win. pic.twitter.com/axh7ugRrCG
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 17, 2022
We’re spoiled and we know it. Madrid and Barcelona were great.
We postponed our return trip in order to shake the COVID that we caught in Spain. Other than the trip was magical.
On the way home, the crew was better than on the way out (though the captain was the same and she played the same beach boys music). All in all, United was inferior service on all fronts.
Time to step it up, united!
Pods 5A and 5B on @united B767-400 in Polaris finally on our way home pic.twitter.com/YQin6U4uz9
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 29, 2022
Moonshine was happy to have us home!
Pestana Plaza Mayor: An Unexpected Refuge
July 22, 2022
We came to Spain for an in person meeting—our first encounter as a group since COVID struck the planet. High bandwidth. Full of energy. Intense and productive.
The meeting was organized by the best of professionals who discovered an excellent location in the Pestana Plaza Mayor, a refuge in the heart of the tourist zone which manages to avoid most (but not all) of the Disneyfication of Plaza Mayor. The location really couldn’t be better for first timers to Madrid.
The Pestana is squarely in four star category, like right smack in the middle. This kind of hotel is perfectly suited for its demographic.
Our arrival process in Madrid was definitely a let down after all the rumors of long lines at customs, COVID QR codes, and lost luggage. The QR code that took so much effort to secure was not even glanced at in the blue lane. Our plane was first in. Customs took less than 2 minutes. Our luggage arrived within 5 minutes, barely enough time to get our bearings.
About the only challenge at arrival was the absolutely cocaine-addled Serbian taxi driver who insisted on aggressively hauling ass through Madrid, unceremoniously dropping us off at the wrong corner past the hotel and insisting on being paid cash. Anyway, we made it in quick.
So quick, in fact, that we were way way way too early to check in. We were offered a shower in the (common) spa area. Which was OK if you don’t mind other people stopping by while you are in your underwear. The spa was very hot and not properly cleaned and cared for, but the showers work. Management could do with a better solution to offer early arrivals a more civilized welcome. FWIW, this problem happens all over the world.
Somewhat freshened, we crossed paths with a colleague just in from Chicago and sought out some espresso and juice for breakfast.
The irony of having an intensely good tiny espresso and some fresh squeezed orange juice just next door to a generic Starbucks was not lost on us.
We stopped in at the Mercado San Miguel for some tourist-priced street food and made our way through old Madrid. Finally it was time to check in.
We were assigned room 117, a superior room in a classic hamster cage design (nothing like a rectangle with some strategic mirrors). This room is too tight to spend a week in (more about that to come), but it is fine for a day or three.
The superior category rating comes from the balcony which overlooks Plaza Mayor. All of that seems awesome until the fourth or fifth night of listening to the hack “musicians” loop through Hit the Road Jack or the Disney princess medley accompanied by a Casio soundtrack on accordion. Someone should invent a pandemic that wipes out the accordion players in one fell swoop. The most amusing part of the street music problem is the cat and mouse game they play with the police.
The view from the balcony is excellent. It is hot as the Dickens in Madrid this week, with temperatures above 101 Farenheit every day. The breeze through the balcony door is hot. The A/C in our room is almost up to the task. Almost.
The shower in 117 is fantastic. Glass. Lots of hot water. Plenty of room to get clean. 100% NPS approved.
Lunch with the team from the company we’re advising was incredible at Sa Brisa Restaurante en El Retiro. We started at 2:30 and finished at 5. Very Spanish of us!
The rooftop pool at the Pestana is a long skinny rectangle maybe a lane and a half wide. It is unlikely that the Madrid summer olympics will be held here anytime in the future. But the water is refreshing and the beer is, well, beer (don’t tell Markus).
After this excellent start, a major setback in our trip happened on day one. After receiving an email from NH about a positive COVID test among the people I was on stage performing with, I decided to test myself in the morning even though I was pretty much asymptomatic. One positive test result later, it was isolation time and worry for my partner who was also well exposed by that time.
We are still in isolation and recovery mode. By now I am almost fully recovered and plan to retest tomorrow. My partner is still in the heart of it (though she has never tested positive we are treating her as if she did).
Anyway, the pretty much constant view became this as the table was shifted over to the balcony door for a day long zoom meeting. AUGH! Honestly, I know we are all done with zoom by now, but imagine being fully prepared to chair an in person meeting full of great people from all over the world and then being relegated to zoom less than 200 yards away from the actual meeting.
Lets just say we’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trapped in 117, venturing out to walk the city in the evening once or twice, remaining masked and socially distanced. Eating room service food, take away pizza, and breakfasts fetched by whichever one of us was the most healthy. Masking even in our room together.
The hotel has been a very good base of operations, the staff accommodating to the highest degree (we are being very careful and mindful of them), and the interstitial time long and full of nothing. We even streamed 21 grams one night.
Speaking of which, the room TV/Internet tech all needs to be replaced here. It is old and it does not work with modern gear. Good luck making it stream anything.
We are existing on Spanish time, getting up late, lunching well into the 4pm hour, and eating after 10pm. Can’t wait until we can do that with other humans.
A special breakfast salad brought up for consumption.
A socially distanced Negroni. This plaza (Plaza de Santa Ana) was filled with packed restaurants at 9:30pm. We asked for a table far from everyone, and had our first proper Negroni of the trip. We were hoping that would cure us.
That night it was ice cream and potato chips for dinner.
Incidentally, our room is on the first floor above the plaza the bottom right of the lighted doorway square.
Great take out pizza can be found at Pizzamascalzone.
Have an Aperol Spritz…if you can find one.
Be a human.
Walk madrid.
Finally, a word about the common areas of the hotel. The grand stairway leading to the Plaza Mayor (and to the breakfast room).
Breakfast is excellent. Having it in the breakfast room and hotel restaurant would be nice. But so far, no dice. Fortunately there is Paula. Paula helped arrange for special treatment for my partner during a number of breakfasts this week. She was the most helpful and friendly person we encountered. Be like Paula.
We did finally venture out (carefully, slowly, and fully masked) to do some shopping at Paloma del Pozo and to see some art at the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía. See our blog entry here.
And we greatly enjoyed an in house Aperol Spritz conjured up by Paula. (See Aaron? We fiigured it all out.)
There is obviously much more of Madrid to see. Until our next visit!
All told, four showerheads and escape from the global pandemic woes for the Pestana Plaza Mayor. Can’t wait to experience Madrid properly.
The Hotel Van Zandt Austin, Texas
January 19, 2022
Ah Kimpton, you’ve become so corporate. Such a great hotel chain ground down by middle management cost cutting and the boredom of crank turning. Dang. We remember the old days, yes we do. They are never coming back.
Anyway, getting to Texas on United was not so bad even in double masks. The flight was very sparsely populated, though it is a longish one. Austin is a great city to visit. Or is it a town? Kind of hard to tell. Here’s the story of our brief stay at Hotel Van Zandt.
First of all, IHG has forgotten everything about what NPS likes. Just for the record, we like high floors, certain kinds of pillows, and rooms with no plastic showers. We have also become accustomed to welcome notes from the GM, delicious amenities, sparkling water, and sometimes even a craft cocktail greeting us in the room from a barkeep hired by Jacques. Not this time. Even though the Kimpton twitter dwarf (they used to be fairies, but corporations) was given the heads up, not one bit of prep was done. Kind of astonishing, really.
So NPS paid a pretty penny for an excellent king spa room with a view, and was given a plastic bottle of water at checkin by the Assistant Manager who had obviously not read our secret file in preparation for our arrival. Hell, there probably isn’t a secret file anymore.
Room 701 is a great room style category. But the floor? Not a high one. The amenities and water? Nope. And the “lake view” is mostly a dusty construction site surrounded by homeless encampments. Seriously. Every city we’ve visited lately has a massive housing problem. What is wrong with this country?
The bathroom was awesome. Great tub (which we used a bunch) and a nice glass shower.
The king size bed is surrounded by a bank of windows on two sides. The view will one day be better.
Given our late arrival sometime just after 8pm, we headed for a drink to Geraldine’s on the fourth floor. It was a Saturday night and the unmasked Texas crowd was dense. After ordering an outstandingly made Negroni (what ice! what ingredients!) we opted for dinner. Dinner was delicious, service was smart and snappy, and all was well with the world. There was a band. They were OK.
Sadly the restaurant was not open for breakfast during our stay. Instead there is a starbucks knockoff cafe on the ground floor with a microwave. Not the sign of a great hotel, guys. Frankly, the place feels more like a Marriott than a Kimpton. No human touch and no magic.
Sunday was devoted to fun without a plan. Brunch at Fixe was absolutely stellar. Great Bloody Mary’s and cinnamon roll biscuits. Fantastic food and friendly Texas service. We took our time.
In a great mood and in weather befitting Spring (60 degrees), we headed to South Congress for some idle shopping. Our only real destination was Heritage Boot Company. Though we got no pictures, we did manage to pick up a knife for my kilt and three pairs of handmade boots. We even had a margarita of sorts with “Mr. Avocado.” Great people, great boots, and a down home Texas vibe. (Thanks Kimber.) NPS hears tell that once you buy one pair you are on a slippery slope to ten. We shall see.
We did manage to singlehandedly support the American economy with our credit cards. And then it was time for a margarita and some music at Half Step. The margaritas are on tap. We were served by Nick Cage himself.
Margarita @halfstepbar served by nick cage himself @LoveTequila @rivco pic.twitter.com/PYH26aasFP
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) January 16, 2022
And that band. Three blind fellows joined by two sighted musicians and a heap of funk. These were real Austin professionals.
Have a listen for yourself.
About the time we extracted we were late for our dinner reservation at Canje. Dinner was excellent. The jerk chicken was hotter than hell. The drinks were fun. The vibe was casual.
Really it would be hard to ask for a better Sunday in Austin.
Monday was a work day with a working lunch at Qi. Get the soup dumplings.
Part of the late afternoon meeting happened at the Proper hotel. This place is interesting but just a little too artificial after an hour in the lobby. The music loop may kill you if the extruded ice doesn’t. Dinner was slated for upstairs at la piscina ceviches and fajitas. Our hosts are enamored with their fajitas. They were (as Sammy says) pretty not bad.
The highlight of the evening Monday night was a quick stop by the Roosevelt Room. What a place. Cavernous and somehow still intimate. Superb cocktails served with whimsy and great care. One of the top bars in the world for sure. NPS had a paper plane (with a paper plane) and a Liberal. Yup. Amer Picon in the house. We seem to have lost our party all night energy during the pandemic, especially after a full day of working in person. So we’ll have to go back. Thanks for the hospitality Justin.
Well, Austin, we will definitely be back. We’ll probably buy some more Heritage boots. We’ll definitely have a few more drinks at the Roosevelt Room. But we’ll stay at the Driskill. Three showerheads for the Hotel Van Zandt where you get what you pay for (and nothing more).