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Though NPS has been to Sweden a handful of times, this was our first trip to Stockholm, and it probably won’t be the last.

Ett Hem is a tiny luxury hotel  that does every single thing right.  The staff is so professional that they feel like really particularly helpful friends, the food is absolutely world class, and the grounds (two buildings with a few rooms in each) are gorgeous. Needless to say, the showers are not plastic.

After a delayed arrival (on Swiss Air, whose business class equipment and service did not match United’s standards(!!)), we all met in the second floor common room in the building with the restaurant (that is, the building that includes its own bakery where they mill flour).  We had a Negroni from the honor bar and caught up after some years.  It’s always fun to introduce good friends who have yet to meet, in this case a Finn and a Norwegian.

Of course there was a mandatory hot shower and checkin in to the rather small but well appointed room 29.

The shower was most excellent.

The fact that the bedroom is small is made up for by the extensive common rooms (like the one where we met) and run of the entire well-groomed property.

We snagged a dinner reservation at Matbaren Mathias Dhalgren, the kind of resraurant designed and executed for foodies.  Dinner was excellent and service was just as fun as our furnishings were quirky.


Then we had a nightcap at the Grand Hôtel bar.  The cocktails were good but not fantastic, and the vibe of the space is pretty much what you would expect from such an old school hotel. Ironically, my two friends decided to get another drink and I left the scene early since my reason for being in town was a breakfast seminar a couple of days later at the ungodly hour of 8am.  I guess that’s one way to avoid jetlag…just blow right through it!

After sampling the outstanding Ett Hem breakfast we made a quick visit to the photography museum.

Then we shot some video of our own, but with more clothes. And played some team building company trivia games. After which dinner at Soho House was an excellent experience.  Always fun to hit it off with friends of friends.  It was taco Tuesday in Sweden, and, well, Swedish tacos are hilarious.

On our way to A Bar Called Gemma we stopped in at Grodan for a cocktail or two.

Gemma was a much better craft cocktail mixology joint than Grodan, but it was also slightly slouchier and grimy.

Then it was up way early to give the talk. We decided to try out the restaurant at Ett Hem for lunch. Outstanding.

Ett Hem is worth a visit to stockholm for all by itself. Magical. Fiver showerheads with no reservations at all.

We knew it was a very silly plan when we dreamed it up.  We just didn’t know HOW silly. In any case, the very silly plan involved crossing the Atlantic six times this summer, which provided a nice opportunity to compare business class travel on three distinctly different airlines.

The verdict?  Swiss Air wins hands down by miles.  Then lufthansa comes in fifth of three.  And united?  Tenth of three.  LOL.  Not even close.

Here are more details.

The Lufthansa 747-8 upper deck is fun.  The pods are not particularly roomy, but it is nice to have a dedicated business class bathroom or two and a distinctly private environment away from the scrum.

We flew to Frankfurt and got picked up in a red camaro.

Some of the time was spent in Heidelberg.

A train took us to the airport to depart Germany.  Getting a train directly into Frankfurt airport is very easy and convenient.

 

The flight back on a Lufthansa A330-300 was more cramped than the 747-800 and really was not as nice.  Not a big fan of the airbus.  Much less room to get comfortable.

We flew back to experience the closing of the digital psychedelic art show and to give a talk for the locals about Machine Learning Security. (Always keep your promises!)

And then it was a ridiculous two day turnaround to fly to Milan (through Frankfurt again).  This equipment sure seems familiar!  Upstairs again for a flight that was late once again but very comfortable.

We did some music in Italy.

My art face.  LOL.

The art itself: Into the Unknown.

Since my flight from Milano to Zurich was cancelled (Swiss Air has decided not to fly the northern Italian routes any more), I opted for the fast train through the alps.  Just beautiful and very fast.  The only issue was all the stuff I had (a huge guitar, a violin, a mandolin, a tube of art and a big roller bag).

Getting all the stuff on the train to Zurich and finally getting a taxi to the airport was a thing. The Zurich train station was under construction and a pain in the ass to negotiate.  Finding the taxi stand was a serious challenge and nobody seemed to want to help.

So we were grumpy, but everything was very smooth at Zurich airport in spite of our SSSS security status. TIronically, the SSSS actually speeded me through security faster.  And a surprize upgrade came through!

Upgraded on a Swiss Air hop to Boston!  Wow.  The seat was enormous and the service was a blast!  Best by far.

Even the food was great.  Like you might even eat it not on an airplane.

Actual espresso macchiatto

Standard issue mimosa.

 

What to do with all this room on the card table sized table?  Wine tasting!

The crew was a blast (see more below).

The food was delicious and not overcooked.

Cheese for dessert.

Even Grappa.

The silliest thing that happened in all of these cross-Atlantic hops was the wine tasting.  Since the card table sized table was so huge we decided to fill it up.  Much fun was had.

So it was off to NH for a day to play music, and then a hop down to repack suitcases through Dulles.

Poor moonshine was sad to see me go again.

Finally the time came to take some actual United business class flights.  This plan was a B767-400.  The pods are a bit tight and the service is nowhere near as good as lufthansa or Swiss Air.  On our way to Madrid, our flight attendant was unable to remember that we requested expedited service.  And god forbid you know that you can request slippers and an extra pad for sleeping!

 

We’re spoiled and we know it. Madrid and Barcelona were great.

We postponed our return trip in order to shake the COVID that we caught in Spain.  Other than the trip was magical.

On the way home, the crew was better than on the way out (though the captain was the same and she played the same beach boys music).  All in all, United was inferior service on all fronts.

Time to step it up, united!

Moonshine was happy to have us home!