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The British Ministry of Obscure Planning Ministry

March 30, 2013

Landed on Alitalia flight from Rome. Got through customs after a series of rather silly questions (given that we were just here last Sunday with the same passport numbers and everything). Had to dig up the address of the hotel in order to fill out the form properly.

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Went to catch the Heathrow Express. The ticket office person sitting at the desk was “closed,” though present. Got tickets from a machine.

Went down to catch the train from Terminal Four where we landed. The instructions as to how exactly to do this from Terminal Four were not at all clear. I can only imagine what all of the Italians were thinking?! (Probably felt right at home actually.) Only the British can set up a system that obscure knowing full well that many thousands of visitors have to use it every day!

The Ministry of Silly Walks must run the Heathrow Express.

The Ministry of Silly Walks must run the Heathrow Express.

Had to take the train from Terminal Four Platform Two to Terminals 1,2, & 3 to catch the Heathrow Express after crossing from Platform One where we disembarked to Platform Two. Directions? Unclear. Electronic signs? Designed by a chimpanzee. Eventually, after an hour and twenty minutes had elapsed we caught the Heathrow Express.

Meanwhile, the Department of Dinner Reservations back at the Zetter had hit a snag after the reservation plan I asked them to execute last night failed at step 2 (call restaurant). The restaurant I had requested was already full! So the obvious thing to do is wait to let me find out after my five hours of flying-related blackhole comms? Uh, no.

Argh. Great Britain, what has become of you?

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