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Three Strikes for the Conrad in Indianapolis: Bye Bye Hilton

September 26, 2013

This hotel is very nice, especially if you are a lady of a certain age.

But they have fatal flaws. Lets list them just for fun.

FLAW 1: They apparently do not have a computer. So they have no idea that I like the “high 03” room category. In fact, they seem to have no idea that I have been here before at all. Hey Hilton, everybody else has computers these days and CRM systems. You should get one!

FLAW 2: Maybe they are trying to save money, because if they charged themselves for Internet access on the computer that they don’t have, they would go bankrupt. There is just no excuse for no free net in 2013.

Argh.  Internet, water and oxygen cost $$ at the Conrad.

Argh. Internet, water and oxygen cost $$ at the Conrad.

FLAW 3: There is nowhere to plug in your ipod here in room 1021.

This speaker no ipod jack.

This speaker no ipod jack haveth.

When I checked in, the checkin woman at the front desk seemed put off by my pointing out that they should have a computer and know what kind of room I like. (The hotel is overrun by Canadians from Eli Lilly in for a sales confab who apparently took all of the good rooms.) Oh well. She was not friendly at all. Then the room keys failed multiple times. But super friendly Jacob Barnes did what he could to salvage the situation. Jacob to the rescue! Good work Jacob, you should get a job at a better hotel chain.

But wait, there’s more.

FLAW 4: At exactly 3:15am this morning, some carousing party animals showed up on the 11th floor above my room. They made huge amounts of noise until 4:15am. Rude yes, but they were drunk and having a good time. Hotel management remained blithely unaware. I tried to put a pillow over my head.

Here is the rectangular bliss that is room 1021.

1021 is tight but well appointed.

1021 is tight but well appointed.

No more showerheads for the Conrad Hilton. Next time I am in Indianapolis, I plan to try the Alexander.

Never fear, all is not lost; the Libertine is still just down the street. Superior mixology and excellent fun, even when overrun by Canadian pharmaceutical types.

Barman Randy Gray kept his wits even while under complete deluge. Even Chef Paul got in on mixing drinks (which was kind of a riot to watch). Randy made time for this experimental beverage which we will call the ho hum (it still needs work)
1 oz hum (too much)
.75 cynar
.5 montenegro
.5 fernet branca
.5 lime
Absinthe rinse on glass. Stir down. Strain.

I have never heard tell of a drink with such a crazy variety of bitters. And it was almost good. We’ll see what we can do to make the ho more respectable at the home bar.

Bacon flight: 3 types, jowl, duck, regular

Bacon flight: 3 types, jowl, duck, regular

Bacon flight. Nuff said.

This posting written and posted over a cell phone wireless net.

One Response to “Three Strikes for the Conrad in Indianapolis: Bye Bye Hilton”


  1. […] noplasticshowers verdict on the Conrad finally reached its tipping point during the last visit (ten thumbs down). But we need to stay in Indy at least once a year, and we […]


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