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The feeling this picture gets across pretty much sums this property up.

The feeling this picture gets across pretty much sums this property up.

Lets get this straight. I’m here because I have to be. I am directly involved in a large congress with over 825 people most of whom are staying here at the Marriott Rive Gauche. There is a crazily designed conference center here where we held the show.

Simply put, this property has seen better days. And in case you wondered, the 14th arrondissement is not really Paris. (Somewhat fittingly it is home to the catacombs.)

I am in plussed up Executive Class Junior Suite 1755. It’s about what you would expect from a Marriott: that inexplicable musty smell, really creaky HVAC, design from the late 70s, colors no longer found in nature, bathroom layout that is just laughable, concrete walls that are so thin you hear the neighbors (all of them), expensive bad net that is overstressed when geeks are present, and awful showers.

Without further ado lets jump right in.

The set of rooms seems like a cave that you must duck your head into. That’s probably due to the “hide a beam” paint job.

Welcome to the room that seems shorter than it really is.

Welcome to the room that seems shorter than it really is.

Exactly what color is that couch?!

Exactly what color is that couch?!

Whoa, the architect was on crack.

Whoa, the architect was on crack.

The bed is very comfortable.

The bed is very comfortable.

There was a flower here when I arrived. It has since disappeared. It inspired the title of this post.

Fallen flower.

Fallen flower.

There are two bathrooms which are mirror opposites. They are equally strange.

Really?

Really?

Euroshower.  Terrible shower head.  Thin plastic tub.

Euroshower. Terrible shower head. Thin plastic tub.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, really.

There is this kind of view of whatever this is a view of. Paris, where are you?

Paris, the side most people never look over.

Paris, the side most people never look over.

All that aside, this room needs some attention. Like new carpet that is not gold, better furniture, revitalized HVAC, and some help in the land of wallpaper.

This is one of several wallpaper issues in 1755.

This is one of several wallpaper issues in 1755.

I am also distressed to report that on Monday I had the worst croissant I have ever had in France. I believe it must have been flown in special by United airlines in cahoots with their supplier.

But all is not lost this trip. I am in Paris and there is great stuff to do. I think I’ll make a separate blog entry for the good stuff.

But I can share one tip. If you find yourself stuck here for whatever reason, just around the corner (out to the right and left at the first street) is a great little bistro, Bistro A Vins (aka Paris Gourmand)— authentic, simple, and fabulous. Across the street from that gem is the more workaday L’alouette which has net (password: alouette) and nice staff.

The Mormons of Marriott are giving US brands a bad name here in Paris. Way down there with Burger King and McDonalds. Horrors. A low two showerheads (and a look the other way) for the Marriott Rive Gauche. Only stay here if you must.