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It is hard to come off a tour of Japan, featuring incredible properties like Arimasansoh Goshobessho, and try to eke something out of the Washington DC hotel scene.  The high end of the hotel food chain in DC is made up with “old lady” hotels like the Jefferson (which my mother adored) and the Four Seasons (yawn).  Now that Kimpton has been utterly digested by IHG, there are absolutely no more design-forward, bar-focused hotels that are both excellent and comfortable.  Or at least none that we can find.

But we’re in town for Rush (and we can’t begin to tell you how great that show was), so we pays our money and takes our chances.

We arrived at the Eaton where the valet hides behind a corner, moved our own car around, got ourselves up into the Duke Ellington suite (arguably the best room this property has to offer), elevator-ed up to the rooftop bar for a quick cocktail, and were met with a very surly hostess with no manners.  Literally not one. Fortunately the bar staff more than made up for that with their fun and attentive service.  But little did we know, we were experiencing pure Eaton, where hospitality seems to sometimes stop just short of the worn furnishings.

So much potential and oh so very close.  What they need is a really good General Manager to remind themselves why they exist.

The Duke Ellington suite is very nice, but it needs some attention.  Like the vinyl idea?  You can use this little statue thing to make the turntable actually function (kinda).  Want to open a bottle?  You’re gonna need to wait for an opener to be brought up.  Loose toilet seat? Uncomfortable bedding?  What?!

I mean, come on.  Do better. The Duke would not have put up with this.

Slick design.

Uncomfortable bed.

The shower is nice but may kill you when you turn it on.

But the plastic toilet seat is falling off, the sliding bathroom door has major scratches in it and no longer shuts properly.  It’s like nobody ever inspects this room.

The separate entrance dressing area is pretty not bad.  Compared to the peninsula?  Does not stack up.

We are more than willing to overpay as this blog attests—but not be ripped off.

OK, enough of that.

The show was amazing.

Dinner at Penn Rasika was workaday but delicious (here is another DC institution that is aimed directly at the people who don’t know any better), “sir and ma’am.”

But you know what is great at the Eaton?  The Allegory speakeasy is superb.  Fun. Welcoming. Open. Just good.  Thanks guys for a good time after the show.  Can you get management to copy whatever you have going on please?

 

 

Brunch the next morning came early, but Unconventional Diner was there with stellar breakfast.  Whatever you crave?  They have it.  Go there.

Four showerheads and loss of the “I really want my money back” feeling for the Eaton.  Grow to your potential.  Unlikely to return.  Which means our DC search continues.

If you are a careful reader of noplasticshowers, you may recall the very first blog entry ever (October 21, 2009). Way back when! What were we whining about then? A Marriott property foist on us by the Kilbourne. You see, some people will do most anything for points. Some people, but not us some people.

Here at the Ritz Carlton you might expect a glass shower, right? Like the ones in Charlotte. Sadly, Atlanta appears to be a hotel desert. And as such, even the Ritz (the Ritz!!) has plastic showers. Alas.

I do not like plastic showers. Really.

A good start in the tiny bathroom, but is that a plastic shower?!

A good start in the tiny bathroom, but is that a plastic shower?!

Queue YES Close to the Edge (yeah I know the title referenced Rush, what can I say?!)

I get up.

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I get down.

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Ah the high life in a high end hamster cage.

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Never fear, there is an amenity that arrived as this diatribe was under construction. Did I say hamster? Eat up little hamster.

All your bar foods are come in BIG BIG bag.  With coke.

All your bar foods are come in BIG BIG bag. With coke.

Of course, Atlanta is a big city and there are plenty of great places to go. Dinner at South City Kitchen was relaxed and very nice with a supremely delicious pork BBQ appetizer. Drinks at 4th and Swift were surprisingly well-crafted by Gabriel. The only fly in the ointment is that Gabriel needs to relax about recipes and understand that every great drink will survive on its own in the light of day. Gabriel was fun at first, and then just plain green.

We concocted a Berryville Passage with Batavia Arrack (which I still need to procure for my bar), some homemade black walnut bitters, and an overly-smokey scotch. The new recipe is called the Peachtree Passage:
1.5 Batavia Arrack
.5 Dolin’s sweet vermouth
.5 Dolin’s dry vermouth
.5 Yellow Chartreuse
1 dash House Black Walnut bitters from 4th and Swift
1 dash Angustora

Wash a cocktail glass with smokey scotch. Shake. Flame a lemon peel over the drink. Drop in peel.

The next day started out right with a quick trip to dancing goats coffee (which would even meet jS criteria) on the way to Krispy Kreme!

The ultimate doughnut.

The ultimate doughnut.

No calories whatsoever.

No calories whatsoever.

The famous hot doughnuts now sign is on and the factory is running.

Proof that the cigital offices actually exist!

Cigital Atlanta

Cigital Atlanta

Night two was even better than the first with a superb dinner at Ecco where they have outstanding charcuterie and a great winelist. After dinner we went to Seven Lamps for the best mixology in Atlanta. Master barman Kevin Bragg created a trio of outstanding drinks, including this experimental beverage which we will call the Georgia Liberal:
2 oz Rittenhouse 100 Rye
.5 Punt et mes
.5 Kronan Swedish Punsch
.5 Amaro Cio Ciaro
1 dash hopped grapefruit bitters
orange peel

We will leave the Ritz in Atlanta with three showerheads, despair that Atlanta just can’t rise to the occasion, and this snippet of YES.

Down at the edge, close by a river.
Close to the edge, round by the corner.
Close to the end, down by the corner.
Down at the edge, round by the river.

Gorgeous ceiling in the Biltmore ballroom.

Gorgeous ceiling in the Biltmore ballroom.