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I switched my flight to NY on the way up to LGA to avoid a united-caused crew delay which would have made me miss a major meeting. The red carpet club was very helpful and the switch was efficient and quick. But when the switch was made, my return flight seat next to my wife was relinquished magically by the computer and I am now reassigned to 22C on a 23 row plane. This makes me unhappy. Row 22 on an EMB-145 is truly awful.

I spoke to a frankly bitchy customer service supervisor who bordered on rude about the situation. Awesome. I suppose only assholes make supervisor in customer service at United these days since they have to deal with millions of angry customers? Lady, you need a different job.

Congrats United on taking 3 legs worth of reasonable service (a refreshing and surprising change), balling it up in a tight ball, and throwing it away.

Jeff Smisek’s pathetic operational capabilities have made their way to customer service. Why so harsh? Because running an airline is about more than Jeff Smisek marketing. It’s about operations.

The most ridiculous aspect of this particular delay was that United knew about it for hours and was not able to rectify the situation. In other words, operations is about as brittle as you can get. The second most ridiculous aspect was the ever changing departure time (and the request that passengers be at the gate at the original time just in case…because everyone knows how great EWR is). We decided to stay in the city and have dinner at tre dici instead. It was a risky decision but we made the flight just fine.

Here is the email trail:

at 3:57pm
United flight UA5837 on April 11 is delayed due to a late inbound aircraft.
Now departs: 9:10 p.m. on April 11 from gate A21, New York/Newark, NJ (EWR – Liberty)
Now arrives: 10:33 p.m. on April 11 at Washington, DC (IAD – Dulles)
Please be at the gate for boarding prior to the original scheduled departure time of 7:41 p.m., as the departure time could be revised again.

at 6:08pm
United flight UA5837 on April 11 is delayed due to a late inbound aircraft.
Now departs: 9:50 p.m. on April 11 from gate A23, New York/Newark, NJ (EWR – Liberty)
Now arrives: 11:13 p.m. on April 11 at Washington, DC (IAD – Dulles)

at 8:00pm
United flight UA5837 on April 11 is rescheduled.
Now departs: 9:34 p.m. on April 11 from gate A23, New York/Newark, NJ (EWR – Liberty)
Now arrives: 10:57 p.m. on April 11 at Washington, DC (IAD – Dulles)

at 8:54pm
United flight UA5837 on April 11 is rescheduled.
Now departs: 9:26 p.m. on April 11 from gate A23, New York/Newark, NJ (EWR – Liberty)
Now arrives: 10:49 p.m. on April 11 at Washington, DC (IAD – Dulles)

FWIW, wheels up at 9:45.

By monitoring the app, I was able to see when some passengers bailed and switch my seat back. Did anyone at United do that? Nope, not even the twitter watchers. Why not?

United airlines still sucks. Jeff Smisek still needs to be fired.

The Expressjet crew was nice at least.

Snow in the morning.  Post-equinox dusting.

Snow in the morning. Post-equinox dusting.

Rochester, NY again. Is Rochester emerging as a major tech hub? Who knows, but if you must stay in Rochester, the Inn on Broadway is the place to stay.

After an awful United Express flight up (operated by the inestimably bad ExpressJet), we arrived very late on a Sunday night. So late that there was some serious confusion at the front desk. Fortunately Kat managed to fix everything (thanks Kat).

But before the fix, we were assigned room 407 with a—GASP—plastic shower. Here are some pictures of that room.

Room 407 bedroom

Room 407 bedroom

Bathroom on 407.

Bathroom on 407.

Sadly, this 407 bathroom shower is designed over a tub with a plastic shower curtain. OH NO MR. BILL.

Sadly, this 407 bathroom shower is designed over a tub with a plastic shower curtain. OH NO MR. BILL.

The kitchenette in 407 is not really our style.

The kitchenette in 407 is not really our style.

Thin sliding door on the 407 closet.  Yuck.  And do not steal my hanger hangers.

Thin sliding door on the 407 closet. Yuck. And do not steal my hanger hangers.

Fortunately that room was abandoned shortly after it was temporarily occupied. The switch to 409 made everything better.

Bed in 409.

Bed in 409.

Fireplace in 409.

Fireplace in 409.

Gorgeous sink in 409.

Gorgeous sink in 409.

This is a glass shower cube.  YES.

This is a glass shower cube. YES.

This shower has 4, count 'em 4, showerheads.  Awesome shower.

This shower has 4, count ’em 4, showerheads. Awesome shower.

The Inn on Broadway is pretty much adjacent to Java’s Cafe. Go there for breakfast. Great espresso, fresh squeezed OJ, bagels you can toast yourself, the NY Times, and Net.

It snowed all morning during our meetings, but it didn’t stick.

After a reasonable dinner at a local pizza joint called Tony D’s (authentic Italian style), it was time for a real cocktail. Above the Solera Wine Bar is the Cheshire. Sadly, the Cheshire is only open Thursday through Sunday. But the proprietor Evvy Fanning is a good egg and quite possibly, there may be real cocktails available whenever. Thank you Evvy for an oasis of incredible goodness.

Possibly worth flying in for all by itself; visit Cheshire.

Five showerheads, four of which are in the actual shower, for Inn on Broadway.

Maybe the awful United express flight up here in a creaky old expressjet CRJ200 was foreshadowing of some sort? In any case, there is nothing quite like New York City to disavow you of your ego! Even the hotels and my own best guys are in on the game.

Just when we thought Kimpton loved us here at noplasticshowers, we were unable to finagle our favorite room for one of my companion’s rare visits to the city. (We admit that we waited way too long to ask nicely, but the powers that be are keeping us way too busy these days!)

And the note, though handwritten by Santo and very much personal, was handed to me with the new loyalty program chit instead of being secreted away in my room? Dang. There’s no way that a $30 minibar credit makes me feel as welcome as cold sparkling water, a bottle of wine, and some cheese. Especially since there is no sparkling water in the minibar. (Minus 10.) Maybe the corporate apartment is better.

Too many people in the Kimpton loyalty program?! The inner circle is way way wide. Horrors. Now we’re all the same?! Noplasticshowers prefers the grade inflation found outside of NY where everyone is above average.

This is not cheese?!

This is not cheese?!

Palomars where are you?? Come rescue me.

OK OK, first world problem. It’s true. And maybe this all has something to do the the scaffolding all over the building and its deleterious impact on room service? Quite possibly there is no cheese (or sparkling water) to be found.

Room 1515 is nicely way up there and has a classic 70park layout. Excellent style with good lines and great use of mirrors. We’ll feature the mirrors in the pictures this time.

Bed in the mirror.

Bed in the mirror.

Bed in the other mirror.  And an infinite mirror too!

Bed in the other mirror. And an infinite mirror too!

Bathroom mirrors can't be left out.

Bathroom mirrors can’t be left out.

But sadly, there is a shower curtain. You know how we feel about those on this blog.

Curtain over a tub.  Uh oh.

Curtain over a tub. Uh oh.

To add insult to injury, blue smoke is out of Hirsch ’76 (no more left in NY or maybe on planet earth). We are in a three showerheads kind of mood. Meh.

Want sparkling water? Well go get it yourself from Starbucks.

And then things took a serious turn for the much better (not at 70Park but in NYC). Thursday evening included a walk downtown on the high line, a visit to NYU and Washington Square, an outrageously great meal at annisa in the village (really, best restaurant ever in NY which is high praise), and the best time ever for NY mixology at Lantern’s Keep. All in one evening.

We are so glad that Raines Law Room was once again too popular for its own good, because we met barman Bob and his merry band of friends. What’s not to like about outstanding shots of agave tequila and zacapa 23 from paper cups in between delicious beverages? Real daiquiri shooters all around got us started. There was even homemade amer picon (kinda) for a Liberal. Lantern’s Keep is now high on the NY mixology list.

When I flew out to Iowa this week, United Express was serviced by ExpressJet. Their ancient Embrear 145 was awful. Not enough room for people OR their stuff.

On the way back, United Express was serviced by Shuttle America. Much better equipment, better crew. All around better. We were on an Embrear 175.

So watch out, United Express can suck or be just fine. The subcontractor really matters.