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Are we spoiled at NPS? Why yes we are. We just got back from 20 days staying in one fantastic hotel after the other in London, Prague, Oslo, Paris, and back in London again. And we flew upper class on Virgin Atlantic. So yes, we are way f-ing spoiled.

And you know what? Annapolis sucks for hotels. You can choose old lady or you can choose chain (as witnessed below), but you can’t choose a B&B because they have an absurd two night limit. This town needs to scrap all existing hotels and start over. Kimpton, where are you?

So we find ourselves suffering from Prague-itis (just got some antibiotics for that) in the worst possible disaster of a situation for NPS.

Let the fun begin! As I am typing this at 9:34pm a wedding reception is going on downstairs. You can see it out of the window in the only superior suite on the property. In the atrium. In kind of a hyatt meets omni design disaster from the late ’70s.

Noise making room

Noise making room

The guys helping make the noise even have real things to bang on! The only saving grace is at least they are playing all classic rock. It’s like listening to FM radio.

They're nice now, but we will hate them later

They’re nice now, but we will hate them later

Room 241 is a “superior suite” in a “luxury” hotel. Neither term applies. Sorry guys, maybe in the ’70s.

Bedroom behind a divider

Bedroom behind a divider

Living area separated by the divider

Living area separated by the divider

Um, design of some sort?

Um, design of some sort?

Desk thing

Desk thing

Then there is the NPS coup de grace, the worst kind of shower over tub plastic shower with an obesity bar to boot. Just the worst. We hate these showers.

This is a classic plastic shower.  It sucks.

This is a classic plastic shower. It sucks.

Obesity bar for Trump supporters

Obesity bar for Trump supporters

Plasticized curtain

Plasticized curtain

Bathroom console

Bathroom console

But there are things even worse than the plastic shower in the baby blue bathroom.

What the hell? Empty mini bars sitting by the wall.

What the hell? Empty mini bars sitting by the wall.

Listen "luxury" hotel. People in "superior suites" should not pay $4 for water.

Listen “luxury” hotel. People in “superior suites” should not pay $4 for water.

A hole in the divider.  Nice.

A hole in the divider. Nice.

This mirror on the closet thing.  Brady bunch set?

This mirror on the closet thing. Brady bunch set?

So we will boogey on down to some bass and drums while the wedding people are still down there chirping or screaming or whatever it is they are doing. Yes, it is loud.

The thoughtful staff did send up a bottle of wine for us to drink ourselves to sleep with. LOL. That was nice. Thanks you guys.

Kind Wine

Kind Wine

But no, we have to stick with a very low two showerhead rating anyway and a fervent hope that there is a power failure in about 3 minutes that knocks out the wedding reception in the atrium. Hmmm.

Sunday brunch at Harry Browne’s was very good and involved mimosas.

Annapolis, you’re such a cute town. Get a real hotel. No really, just do it!

IMG_1970

As an appendix, we should state for the NPS record that management did what it could to remedy the situation we experienced in Annapolis. Good management makes a big difference.

As one small example, we needed some shirts pressed for a wedding and of course every single dry cleaner in the state capital of Maryland is closed on Sunday (including the one that the hotel outsources to). So management asked housekeeping to please press our shirts for us while we were talking to them about the other issues in this post. That was a far more creative solution than the front desk had come up with (which was more like, gee that’s a bummer). Adult supervision is a good thing.

I just checked in to the Historic Inns of Annapolis where we are running a conference. It’s a beautiful day and I drove here to Annapolis with my convertible top down. The State House section of Annapolis is gorgeous, filled to the brim with historical buildings in a Colonial layout.

I’m staying at the Calvert House (one of the several Inns) in room 416. My room has very nice antiques set in a dormer with New England windows looking over the Maryland State House. It’s fairly modern (with a flat screen TV), but the bathroom facilities are pretty much generic hotel bathroom. Here’s a shot of the shower and the rest of the tiny bathroom. The shower is really not much of an experience.

The shower curtain is lace in a nod to antiquity. Very, um, colonial? I guess blown glass showers were not available way back when.

One strange design problem with the current Calvert House is that the entrance hall has been positioned in the basement. So instead of walking up the steps into a grand hall (must be in there somewhere), you walk under the stairs and into the ancient kitchen level. Minus 20 for the architects who thought that was a good idea.

While wandering around town before the beginning of our event, I discovered Osteria 177 (on Main Street) with an actual mixologist named Luke. Excellent beverages. Here is a drink that Luke invented called the Gia. Sadly, Luke rolls up his virtual sidewalk at 10 with the rest of Annapolis after which it’s Irish pub or bed for you.

Gia
1.5oz Stoli white Pomegranite vodka
.25oz lime
.25 on St Germain
1 oz Fever Tree tonic water
Lime twist squeezed over the top

Shake, add ice, shake again. Serve in a martini glass with lime twist over the top.

The Calvert House earns a strong three showerheads rating. Probably about as high as a colonial inn can get.