Westfields Marriott in Dulles, VA
June 14, 2013
It’s time for the annual Tech Fair again where we get the entire company together in Virginia for some face time. This year we have moved from the bunker just down the road to the Westfields Marriott.
What can I say, it’s a Marriott. Beats the Sawgrass. About in the same league as the Battle House.
I am in 130, the Presidential Suite. I guess the presidency is frozen in time sometime in the mid-’80s. It’s all about a color of beige that your HSA might approve of should you be forced to live in suburbia.
The big room angle 1.
The big room angle 2.
Bar in the big room (angle 3).
The bedroom is also beige, and also spacious.
Bedroom angle 1.
Bedroom angle 2.
Is there a welcome note? Some flowers? Maybe a bottle of wine? Nope. Even though I am filling this hotel with 200 people, the management seems confusedd about how to conduct business. Fantastic!
I take it back. From the department better late than never, Director of Event Planning Ellen Ouellette had some fruit, cheese and Peligrino delivered along with a note. Thanks Ellen. Looks like Jennifer is wielding the power of the blog. After our 2am raid, here’s what’s left.
Remains of the day.
And then there is the bathroom situation.
Marble bidet? Check.
No shower in the tub room (no window either).
Ouch. Here’s the shower. In the public part of the space with a plastic shower curtain and a broken place where the door belongs.
The meeting space seems very good, but I would never choose this hotel for myself in a million years. A low four showerheads for Westfields.
It was an early start in Canada at 5am, but Air Canada and Global Entry conspired to make for an easy trip.
The Onyx still has a truly phenomenal staff. Friendly, interested, engaging, and fun; even when there’s a line at the front desk during the afternoon registration crush or a lobby full of impatient Germans waiting for their cabs to the airport. They used to be trained and led by Linda Chin, but now my friend Joe Capalbo is the general manager. (At that time, Joe ran the Hotel Marlowe just across the river in Cambridge.)
Joe and Dava Berman know all about my mixology problem and played right along by gathering the ingredients for a Nevada as a welcome package to room 1009. Super cool. The Nevada is a truly outstanding concoction.
Makings for the Nevada.
Here’s the result. I think there is enough stuff here to make one for everyone in the hotel.
An actual Nevada.
The only fly in the Onyx ointment is a distinct lack of glass showers. As a joke, Joe had the shower curtain liner removed from my shower before my arrival. Hilarious!
Not a glass shower.
Kimpton bathrooms have high quality fixtures.
Joe has a sneaky plan to get some glass showers installed. We’ll see whether he can pull it off. You see, the Onyx is not the same level of property as a Palomar or the Marlowe in the Kimpton constellation of hotels. But what they lack in glass showers they make up for in personality and verve. Hence the title of this posting. We use the force (glass shower heuristic) to find good hotels. The onyx causes a disturbance in the force.
Onyx rooms are kinda small. I like more room to spread out and cause trouble.
Bed room.
Entertainment console view.
Mixology fun on this trip did not end with the Nevada at the Onyx. In fact, they were just getting started. At the Cigital Boston launch party we hosted, we got a superb barman to make some real drinks. They went along nicely with the live jazz and the hors d’ouevres.
Mixology by Sage (until recently from drink) at the Boston office launch party.
Then there was dinner and a visit to drink where we were lucky enough to be ministered to by the incomparable Ezra Star. Needless to say, the cocktails were superb. We even worked in a lesson in reverse engineering. I take back all the bad things I said about drink. Well some of them anyway.
Reversing the Brooklyn courtesy of Ezra at drink.
A mid-day breakfast at Ferrara’s was just what the doctor ordered.
As our next trick, my band Where’s Aubrey played an impromptu concert in the Onyx lobby. I guess that’s one way to recover from a very late night at drink.
Back to drink (before a delicious and authentic Italian dinner at Bricco) for some cocktails with Ren Brown. Ren is playing with Gin and created the Gin Mai Tai 44
1 oz Ransom gin
1 oz Haymon gin
1 oz Lime
.5 oz PF orange curacao
1/8 oz Orgeat
Five enthusiastic showerheads for the Onyx. Come see for yourself how cool the staff is.
The Palomar in Los Angeles wants to play too
April 26, 2013
I’m home.
But my entourage has decided to fly to LA and stay at the Palomar in LA. (One of the super cool perqs the Kimpton has is a “stay 7 nights, get one night for free” deal. It is coming in handy this weekend.)
Intouch greetings for the entourage? You bet. And en extra-extended wine hour too we hear. Well done Palomar LA!
Fruit and a note even in our absence.
The room (1520) is compact.
And has a view.
![photo[3]](https://i0.wp.com/noplasticshowers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photo3.jpg)
But if the Palomar LA wants to play with the big boys in San Francisco and Chicago, it’s gonna need a shower way better than this!
Uh oh, wrong kind of shower.
![photo[2]](https://i0.wp.com/noplasticshowers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/photo2.jpg)
I won’t emit a rating, because I’m not there. But it’s great that the Kimpton people are spoiling my people! Gracias LA.
Joe to the Rescue: The Hotel Marlowe Does a Head Fake
April 5, 2013
Two years ago when I was being treated as a random walk-in guest at Hotel Marlowe on visit 15 or so no less, Joe Capalbo, who was the GM at the time, took it upon himself to fix the problem. He even sent me a toy glass shower for my birthday which to this day lives in my office in Virginia. Thank goodness Joe is around, because he rescued a Marlowe visit again even though he runs the Onxy across town! Thanks Joe.
So what happened? Good question.
I was greeted by name on my arrival this time, and then promptly told by a very green and very chipper manager why they did not have the kind of room that I like available for me this stay. It’s not like I just thought this trip up last week. I have had a reservation for months. Time warp to bad! Guess what Connie and Michal, as a long time overly loyal guest I really don’t care how full the hotel is, why nobody was able to plan around this, or how you might go about getting me the kind of room I would like etc. I am not the hotel manager. You are.
My least favorite part of this “you can’t always get what you want” dance was being given a choice between a low inside cave room with a glass shower or a shower curtain room of the sort I used to whine about in 2010. That’s the very same trick we used on our toddlers to get them to feel they had some power in the “what’s for dinner” department. (They’re teenagers now, FWIW.) “Would you like yummy peas or delicious spinach?” we would ask. Of course, grownups get to say, “neither, thanks.” Toddlers can be bamboozled. I’m pretty sure I may be a grownup?! Maybe.
So I dutifully checked in to room 3-something (?!), ditched my stuff and caught the T to the new offices in Boston (very cool, BTW and situated in a hot area just by South Station). Underwhelmed by my Marlowe welcome, I tweeted, “The big ‘whatever’ from hotel marlowe. They know my name but whiff on preferences. @kimpton has me spoiled, but not this week. Minus 10.”
 Cave room nice (but dark). |
 Glass shower trumps light when forced. |
 Window overlooks parking courtyard. |
During dinner and when getting a nightcap afterwards, my Boston peeps had great fun tweeting to the Ritz about getting me to jump ship from Kimpton. Much fun was had by all. And lo and behold, when I returned around midnight there was a new executive class room set up for me with all my stuff in it and a stinky cheese welcome package from Joe.
Things were definitely looking up, because I have a telescope.
Exec class rooms with telescopes are what I like.
Now a little aside about management spin. After the midnight upgrade which remedied the situation, Connie saw me in the morning and insisted on letting me know that I was given this room “due to a cancellation.” Really? Not only do I not need to know this, all it does is underline how the Hotel Marlowe apparently really feels about my business. “Good thing someone more important to us than you didn’t show up so we could backfill.” Uh, thanks. Try this instead, “We noted your disappointment and fixed the problem. It will never happen again.” Green.
At least 621 is nice.
More room to spread out in 621.
Morning light in the sitting room (which was properly used).
I brought my own bathrobe and slippers for the weekend in NH. (Music time!)
Looks like home.
My kind of shower.
Functional yet glass.
For room preference shenanigans we will award the Hotel Marlowe two showerheads and then at the last minute (only because a more important hotel did not show up) change it to four showerheads.
Just before heading out to NH, I had a very nice chat with Michal Penek (the new GM). It’s always good to put a human face on things. I’m looking forward to my next visit.
In other Boston news: Mortons is the same as it is in every other city (yawn). The Tufts kids are super psyched about software security. The Blue Room is as excellent as ever with yet another new chef who is taking the direction Florentine. And the coup de grace this trip, drink was in rare form, serving delicious Liberals (real Amer Picon in stock), milk punch, and an Ezra-made concoction.
Lets Compare Showers (London, Paris, & Florence Edition)
March 31, 2013
How do London, Paris, and Florence compare shower-wise in our ultra-scientific three data point shower comparison experiment?
 London. |
 Paris |
 Florence |
Florence wins, hands down. Curvy glass, superb water pressure, and not really large enough to fit really fat Americans.
Paris comes in a close second, suffering only from not enough light to determine whether the soap is working.
Alas, poor London drags in way last. Hot water that has a life of its own (it’s hot, it’s cold, you can’t tell, jump!), variable pressure, shower curtain over a tub. Too many shower-oriented bugs to overlook.
Shower in Florence if you get a chance.
How about art?
We’ll have to give that to the Pompidou Center in Paris. I’m afraid my preference for modern art over so many tortured Renaissance Jesuses is showing!
Food?
Though there were many memorable meals to be had, the best meal on this journey was experienced along with some superior jazz in Florence at the Golden View Open Bar. Chez Oscar in Paris comes in a close second due to the warmth and hospitality of the owners who also happen to make a great duck confit.
And mixology?
London hands down, where the Zetter Townhouse now feels about as much like home as a bar 3738 miles from home can feel. Thanks to Kamil Foltan, Aga, Nikko, Will, and everyone else for making us welcome.
Experimental design.
Back to the Zetter in London
March 19, 2013
I was just here at the Zetter in November and was completely psyched to find a hotel that did not suck in London. The Zetter and the Zetter Townhouse way do not suck.
Somewhat miraculously, United did the right thing by me on this trip to Europe with in advance upgrades on both ends. (Isn’t it ironic that merely acceptable behavior by United is so rare that it deserved kudos?!) So maybe I was in a great mood even on 3 hours of “plane sleep.” No matter what it was, though, the Zetter staff made me feel immediately welcome on my arrival.
The Zetter as seen from Workshop Coffee.
The front desk staff kindly allowed me to use room 101 to take a shower in the morning since someone was still in the room I was ultimately destined to stay in. Room 101 is great for a shower.
 Room 101 TV. |
 Room 101 shower (ahhhh). |
Room 101 is about the same size as its bed.
But even after breakfast and a shower, I still had some time to kill before my room was ready, so I headed over to the Zetter Townhouse to get some work done. I was met by head barman and gracious host Kamil Foltan. He and I sat in the back getting work done and chatting every once in a while for a couple of hours. Finally, room 503 was ready. It was worth the wait.
Eyes to the right.
Room 503. Curved windows overlooking the city.
Eyes to the left.
The work nook. Sadly, lots of actual work is happening here.
I must admit that the bathroom on 503 could use an update. The shower is pretty good, but it does have a shower curtain. You all know how we feel about that around here!
 Smallish bathroom through the door. |
 We will pretend this curtain is glass. |
I guess over on this side of the pond they have not yet started to install insanely large tubs that I never have time to use next to a glass shower cube. Alas.
The view and the gorgeous balcony more than makes up for the bathroom.
View from 503 balcony.
The new London pyramid and a cathedral share the skyline. Classic London.
Too bad about the weather though. Rainy and gray. Oh well, that was to be expected. All in all a five showerheads rating for the Zetter again. Great space, great staff, excellent all around.
London from the Tate Modern restaurant. Rain rain rain.
Coffee Workshop wallpaper. ARRRR!
In other London news, the Clerkenwell neighborhood remains interesting. The best coffee I have ever had in London can be found at Workshop Coffee just down the street from the Zetter. Mixology at the Zetter Townhouse is still in full swing (I must admit that I go for more boozy and bitter than they seem to have taste for on their menu, but you can get a Liberal!!). The Tate Modern is one of my favorite all time museums (loved the Sphinx by Fini).
Petit Sphinx Ermite by Leonor Fini (Tate Modern)
Inside the Zetter Townhouse. View from the couch (which was almost denied us by the little girl minding the door).
Superb dinner at Moro.
Kamil introduced me to a new rum at the Zetter Townhouse. Almost as good as Havana Club Cuban cask strength Anejo. Wow. And get this, it’s from Venezuela.
Santa Teresa 1796 rum from Venezuela.
A dinner right next door at The Modern Pantry included one of the best desserts I have ever been served in an upscale restaurant. We had some trouble with the Zetter front desk getting dinner set up, but persistence paid off.
Another restaurant worth mentioning is The Tramshed where you can find great steak, a cow in formaldehyde (Damien Hirst), and lesbian petting in the gents.
This is not the cow you’re looking for.
After dinner we went for a romp through Happiness Forgets (which was obviously teleported in from NY) and the Artesian at the Langham which is just a bit too posh for its own good, for example proudly proclaiming itself the “best bar in the world.” Happiness Forgets is excellent indeed. Artesian? Meh. Though the rum selection really is the best I have ever seen.
We handle posh by ordering this:
A posh drink with a purple skull phone from Artesian.
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