Do you speak English? Do you fancy (or maybe, like, if you are American, “like”) sitting by the pool when it is 100 Fahrenheit degrees outside? Are you a hipster, or maybe hipster inclined? Perhaps hipster curious? Then this is the place for you!
The fact that this place had rebranded itself to CoolRooms Palacio de Atocha from what was most likely Palacio de Atocha before says a bunch. In English.
The pool rocks. Just come for the pool.
We’re having a grand old time by the pool.
Our room is 40. Maybe it is a “junior suite” or some such. The room is built into the top floor attic. It’s pretty hot in Madrid still, and the A/C is having some issues trying to keep up. It does OK if you close all the windows, shut your eyes, and try to be invisible.
The room is nice. Hipsters dig it. There are USB ports in random locations. There is a bluetooth doohicky for music. Right angles are rare. There are two copies of everything but the toilet and the makeup station in the bathroom.
Two copies! Romey can take a cold shower while I take a hot one. Simultaneously.
There is a note from the GM with some yummy items. This is so hipster that NPS felt instantly at home (but add an email address so we can ping you Señor GM).
We’re just swinging back out of Spain tomorrow and still moving slowly. So time by the pool with too many Negronis is just what the Doctor ordered. Doctor Feelgood, is that you?
Oh it IS doctor feelgood. Yay!
Before we got here there was no graffiti in the furniture pile. We fixed that.
…do dee do deeee do…
Dinner at Los Porfiados was very good indeed. Fernet and Coke for the win. We were the only English speakers in the place. And, frankly, we should have spoken Italian.
Do you know how to make a fernet and coke? There is THE WAITERS WAY (which is wrong) and there is the way they do it in BA. Do it the BA way.
We will deface your napkin. A cute hack.
Honestly, the empanadas here are the best I have ever had anywhere. Just wow. The veal was good too.
On our last day in Madrid, we bought some stuff and we had some drinks by the pool. It was perfect.
Vermut and jewelry pic.twitter.com/UnOMYv8y6Z
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 28, 2022
Five showerheads and an upgrade to Spanish plus some more powerful A/C units for the CoolRooms BestRooms YouAreNotWorthyOfTheRooms Palacio do Atocha.
Pestana Plaza Mayor: An Unexpected Refuge
July 22, 2022
We came to Spain for an in person meeting—our first encounter as a group since COVID struck the planet. High bandwidth. Full of energy. Intense and productive.
The meeting was organized by the best of professionals who discovered an excellent location in the Pestana Plaza Mayor, a refuge in the heart of the tourist zone which manages to avoid most (but not all) of the Disneyfication of Plaza Mayor. The location really couldn’t be better for first timers to Madrid.
The Pestana is squarely in four star category, like right smack in the middle. This kind of hotel is perfectly suited for its demographic.
Our arrival process in Madrid was definitely a let down after all the rumors of long lines at customs, COVID QR codes, and lost luggage. The QR code that took so much effort to secure was not even glanced at in the blue lane. Our plane was first in. Customs took less than 2 minutes. Our luggage arrived within 5 minutes, barely enough time to get our bearings.
About the only challenge at arrival was the absolutely cocaine-addled Serbian taxi driver who insisted on aggressively hauling ass through Madrid, unceremoniously dropping us off at the wrong corner past the hotel and insisting on being paid cash. Anyway, we made it in quick.
So quick, in fact, that we were way way way too early to check in. We were offered a shower in the (common) spa area. Which was OK if you don’t mind other people stopping by while you are in your underwear. The spa was very hot and not properly cleaned and cared for, but the showers work. Management could do with a better solution to offer early arrivals a more civilized welcome. FWIW, this problem happens all over the world.
Somewhat freshened, we crossed paths with a colleague just in from Chicago and sought out some espresso and juice for breakfast.
The irony of having an intensely good tiny espresso and some fresh squeezed orange juice just next door to a generic Starbucks was not lost on us.

We stopped in at the Mercado San Miguel for some tourist-priced street food and made our way through old Madrid. Finally it was time to check in.
We were assigned room 117, a superior room in a classic hamster cage design (nothing like a rectangle with some strategic mirrors). This room is too tight to spend a week in (more about that to come), but it is fine for a day or three.
The superior category rating comes from the balcony which overlooks Plaza Mayor. All of that seems awesome until the fourth or fifth night of listening to the hack “musicians” loop through Hit the Road Jack or the Disney princess medley accompanied by a Casio soundtrack on accordion. Someone should invent a pandemic that wipes out the accordion players in one fell swoop. The most amusing part of the street music problem is the cat and mouse game they play with the police.
The view from the balcony is excellent. It is hot as the Dickens in Madrid this week, with temperatures above 101 Farenheit every day. The breeze through the balcony door is hot. The A/C in our room is almost up to the task. Almost.
The shower in 117 is fantastic. Glass. Lots of hot water. Plenty of room to get clean. 100% NPS approved.

Lunch with the team from the company we’re advising was incredible at Sa Brisa Restaurante en El Retiro. We started at 2:30 and finished at 5. Very Spanish of us!
The rooftop pool at the Pestana is a long skinny rectangle maybe a lane and a half wide. It is unlikely that the Madrid summer olympics will be held here anytime in the future. But the water is refreshing and the beer is, well, beer (don’t tell Markus).
After this excellent start, a major setback in our trip happened on day one. After receiving an email from NH about a positive COVID test among the people I was on stage performing with, I decided to test myself in the morning even though I was pretty much asymptomatic. One positive test result later, it was isolation time and worry for my partner who was also well exposed by that time.
We are still in isolation and recovery mode. By now I am almost fully recovered and plan to retest tomorrow. My partner is still in the heart of it (though she has never tested positive we are treating her as if she did).
Anyway, the pretty much constant view became this as the table was shifted over to the balcony door for a day long zoom meeting. AUGH! Honestly, I know we are all done with zoom by now, but imagine being fully prepared to chair an in person meeting full of great people from all over the world and then being relegated to zoom less than 200 yards away from the actual meeting.
Lets just say we’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trapped in 117, venturing out to walk the city in the evening once or twice, remaining masked and socially distanced. Eating room service food, take away pizza, and breakfasts fetched by whichever one of us was the most healthy. Masking even in our room together.
The hotel has been a very good base of operations, the staff accommodating to the highest degree (we are being very careful and mindful of them), and the interstitial time long and full of nothing. We even streamed 21 grams one night.
Speaking of which, the room TV/Internet tech all needs to be replaced here. It is old and it does not work with modern gear. Good luck making it stream anything.
We are existing on Spanish time, getting up late, lunching well into the 4pm hour, and eating after 10pm. Can’t wait until we can do that with other humans.
A special breakfast salad brought up for consumption.
A socially distanced Negroni. This plaza (Plaza de Santa Ana) was filled with packed restaurants at 9:30pm. We asked for a table far from everyone, and had our first proper Negroni of the trip. We were hoping that would cure us.
That night it was ice cream and potato chips for dinner.
Incidentally, our room is on the first floor above the plaza the bottom right of the lighted doorway square.
Great take out pizza can be found at Pizzamascalzone.
Have an Aperol Spritz…if you can find one.
Be a human.
Walk madrid.
Finally, a word about the common areas of the hotel. The grand stairway leading to the Plaza Mayor (and to the breakfast room).
Breakfast is excellent. Having it in the breakfast room and hotel restaurant would be nice. But so far, no dice. Fortunately there is Paula. Paula helped arrange for special treatment for my partner during a number of breakfasts this week. She was the most helpful and friendly person we encountered. Be like Paula.
We did finally venture out (carefully, slowly, and fully masked) to do some shopping at Paloma del Pozo and to see some art at the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía. See our blog entry here.
And we greatly enjoyed an in house Aperol Spritz conjured up by Paula. (See Aaron? We fiigured it all out.)
There is obviously much more of Madrid to see. Until our next visit!
All told, four showerheads and escape from the global pandemic woes for the Pestana Plaza Mayor. Can’t wait to experience Madrid properly.
Just Don’t Staycity Aparthotels Heidelberg
June 28, 2022
It is in Heidelberg, so that’s good!
And there are some great people in town at the same time to have some fun with. So that’s good too.
For what it’s worth, NPS actually knows better! We should have stayed at the arthotel or maybe even Hotel Ritter with the old people.
I mean, any hotel actually named Staycity Aparthotels is gonna be exactly like this. So just don’t. LOL.
Hamster cage 223 is just like every other hamster cage here. Looks great in pictures because of the veneer and plastic. But it is made of veneer and plastic. And it has the design sensibility of a modern TV. Big black slab with some fake wood veneer pasted on.
Speaking of the TV, here it is splotted prominently on the plastic veneer architectural feature.
The toilet does get its own plastic room.
What a nice touch to add those moth orchids! They are easy to care for after all. And… Oh no wait, they are plastic. LOL.
Whatever you do, do not steal the hangers! They are very valuable as they are not made of plastic.
The shower area looks great and there is even glass! But really, the floor is all thin bouncy plastic. (We will give them props for good water pressure and plenty of hit water.)
So just don’t.
We’ll leave you with some Heidelberg to cleanse your pallet.
Over here on the “used to be an American Army base side (which is quickly transforming into a high tech center, Mandy’s Grill is a great place for breakfast. Very much international and tasty.
The walk to the center is not too bad from here (about a mile), and there in tourist zone you can find most anything. Read some science with a Hugo or a Capari Orange.
Anyway, two showerheads and no hope for redemption for the Staycity Aparthotel. We’ll be smarter next time.
The Hotel Van Zandt Austin, Texas
January 19, 2022
Ah Kimpton, you’ve become so corporate. Such a great hotel chain ground down by middle management cost cutting and the boredom of crank turning. Dang. We remember the old days, yes we do. They are never coming back.
Anyway, getting to Texas on United was not so bad even in double masks. The flight was very sparsely populated, though it is a longish one. Austin is a great city to visit. Or is it a town? Kind of hard to tell. Here’s the story of our brief stay at Hotel Van Zandt.
First of all, IHG has forgotten everything about what NPS likes. Just for the record, we like high floors, certain kinds of pillows, and rooms with no plastic showers. We have also become accustomed to welcome notes from the GM, delicious amenities, sparkling water, and sometimes even a craft cocktail greeting us in the room from a barkeep hired by Jacques. Not this time. Even though the Kimpton twitter dwarf (they used to be fairies, but corporations) was given the heads up, not one bit of prep was done. Kind of astonishing, really.
So NPS paid a pretty penny for an excellent king spa room with a view, and was given a plastic bottle of water at checkin by the Assistant Manager who had obviously not read our secret file in preparation for our arrival. Hell, there probably isn’t a secret file anymore.
Room 701 is a great room style category. But the floor? Not a high one. The amenities and water? Nope. And the “lake view” is mostly a dusty construction site surrounded by homeless encampments. Seriously. Every city we’ve visited lately has a massive housing problem. What is wrong with this country?
The bathroom was awesome. Great tub (which we used a bunch) and a nice glass shower.
The king size bed is surrounded by a bank of windows on two sides. The view will one day be better.
Given our late arrival sometime just after 8pm, we headed for a drink to Geraldine’s on the fourth floor. It was a Saturday night and the unmasked Texas crowd was dense. After ordering an outstandingly made Negroni (what ice! what ingredients!) we opted for dinner. Dinner was delicious, service was smart and snappy, and all was well with the world. There was a band. They were OK.
Sadly the restaurant was not open for breakfast during our stay. Instead there is a starbucks knockoff cafe on the ground floor with a microwave. Not the sign of a great hotel, guys. Frankly, the place feels more like a Marriott than a Kimpton. No human touch and no magic.
Sunday was devoted to fun without a plan. Brunch at Fixe was absolutely stellar. Great Bloody Mary’s and cinnamon roll biscuits. Fantastic food and friendly Texas service. We took our time.
In a great mood and in weather befitting Spring (60 degrees), we headed to South Congress for some idle shopping. Our only real destination was Heritage Boot Company. Though we got no pictures, we did manage to pick up a knife for my kilt and three pairs of handmade boots. We even had a margarita of sorts with “Mr. Avocado.” Great people, great boots, and a down home Texas vibe. (Thanks Kimber.) NPS hears tell that once you buy one pair you are on a slippery slope to ten. We shall see.
We did manage to singlehandedly support the American economy with our credit cards. And then it was time for a margarita and some music at Half Step. The margaritas are on tap. We were served by Nick Cage himself.
Margarita @halfstepbar served by nick cage himself @LoveTequila @rivco pic.twitter.com/PYH26aasFP
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) January 16, 2022
And that band. Three blind fellows joined by two sighted musicians and a heap of funk. These were real Austin professionals.
Have a listen for yourself.
About the time we extracted we were late for our dinner reservation at Canje. Dinner was excellent. The jerk chicken was hotter than hell. The drinks were fun. The vibe was casual.
Really it would be hard to ask for a better Sunday in Austin.
Monday was a work day with a working lunch at Qi. Get the soup dumplings.
Part of the late afternoon meeting happened at the Proper hotel. This place is interesting but just a little too artificial after an hour in the lobby. The music loop may kill you if the extruded ice doesn’t. Dinner was slated for upstairs at la piscina ceviches and fajitas. Our hosts are enamored with their fajitas. They were (as Sammy says) pretty not bad.
The highlight of the evening Monday night was a quick stop by the Roosevelt Room. What a place. Cavernous and somehow still intimate. Superb cocktails served with whimsy and great care. One of the top bars in the world for sure. NPS had a paper plane (with a paper plane) and a Liberal. Yup. Amer Picon in the house. We seem to have lost our party all night energy during the pandemic, especially after a full day of working in person. So we’ll have to go back. Thanks for the hospitality Justin.
Well, Austin, we will definitely be back. We’ll probably buy some more Heritage boots. We’ll definitely have a few more drinks at the Roosevelt Room. But we’ll stay at the Driskill. Three showerheads for the Hotel Van Zandt where you get what you pay for (and nothing more).
Oh no a Raddison Blu in Oslo (the Plaza one)
November 20, 2021
Sadly when you have to give a keynote talk at a conference there is often a conference hotel. These are great if you like hamster cage rooms, overcrowded breakfast room scrums (during a pandemic), watery espresso from machines with only one button, and that sort of corporate stuff.
At least they let us check in to 2622 early. But for the sake of all gods, don’t stay here unless you must.

Hamster cage with bed (you can’t really see the water bottle drip mechanism thingy, but it is there)
This view kind of says it all. Yes there is Fjord out there somewhere. Past the industrial haze.
But it was free! And we got to do the big show.
And the Top Floor bar makes very good cocktails if you stick to the script. The view from up there at night is nice. (Oslo is not Tokyo.)
When in Oslo, try to see some art. If you want to add to your collection, go to purenkel.
Or walk the streets.
We stayed in and had a very nice meal at the hotel on Thursday night (the restaurant seems to be called Gaio). The wait staff is enthusiastic. The cooking is old school but quite good. NPS had some reindeer and a very nice Barolo.
Friday night dinner was excellent. Definitely get to Arakatata. Wow. (Ask for the wine list).
Can’t wait to see you again, Oslo. But we will award the Raddison Blu Plaza a measly three showerheads (up from two since the restaurant and bar are ok). Nopey nope.



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