Back in the Air: Why Jet Blue Dogs United
August 14, 2014
Don’t tell anybody, but I have only been on 2 airplanes since June, and one was today! You see, air travel is no longer something I look forward to since it devolved to “bus service in the air” a couple of years ago. It was a long slow death spiral, but consistent and very much depressing.
As long time readers of NPS know, I am no longer a fan of United airlines. After 10 years of being a 100K member and 1,560,787 miles, United finally used up ALL of my remaining loyalty. That’s right. Every drop. I’m stuck with United since I live near a major hub of theirs, but I plan to do what I can to avoid flying with United.
So, for the first trip back from the famed “no fly July” we’re giving Jet Blue a shot. Lets compare and contrast, from the sublime to the stupid.
Why Jet Blue is Better than United (a one trip comparison)
1. flies modern equipment (new embrear regional jet vs United prop (?!) jet)
2. has a better commuter terminal for East coast travel at IAD (Terminal A, the “walmart” terminal sucks)
3. costs less (by $200 to get to Boston and back)
4. people at Jet Blue seem to like their jobs (at United they all know Jeff Smisek sucks and they hate working for him…really)
5. whole cans of soda water by default even in cattle class
6. United loves to talk about what they are “gonna” do, but they never get it done –> WIFI = not that hard
7. Jeff Smisek sucks and he is the CEO of United
Not that Jet Blue is perfect mind you. I don’t like paying $50 for an extra bag as a newb, but I have to have my bag of electronics for this trip. I also don’t like paying $30 more so I can get on first and stow my instruments, but I am sure as heck never checking my precious violin. So that all sucks. This trip will cost me $160 more than planned. Maybe #3 up there is wrong.
In the end it is clear that I need an airplane.
p.s. Here is a comparison between United and Delta FWIW.
We Interrupt No Fly July for NYC Tourism?!
July 18, 2014
If you follow NPS, you know about no fly July which basically gives me a chance to slow down and think away from airplanes. You may also have figured out that this year has (thankfully) been a light year of travel so far. After more than a decade of road warrior work, that feels pretty good FWIW.
Anyway, no fly July plans were interrupted this year for a trip up to NYC. United was its usual awful self. For the first time ever, I paid revenue for what was essentially a jump seat on a propjet. United has gone completely to the dogs.
Propjet on @united express. pic.twitter.com/O6Q4DTvfd9
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 17, 2014
It got better. The NJTransit train from EWR was convenient and fast.
Once we got to NY, we started with a game of Escape the Room, which was pretty fun all told. The only problem with the game is it is not puzzley enough and relies too much on random finding. But we had a good time (even though we ultimately did not escape the room).
We regrouped at Butcher’s Daughter near Little Italy to plan a quick trip down to Battery Park. Where we took a very touristy sailboat ride to the Statue of Liberty.
tourist sailboat in the NY harbor. https://t.co/NoH3TakCmN
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) July 17, 2014
Statue of Liberty
Dinner at Keste with Jason and Haley was fantastic and authentically italian as always. A quick trip to Mulberry Project was kind of disappointing due to the thundering dance beat. Good drinks, wrong atmosphere.
View from the Cigital apartment in NY.
We’re staying at the apartment again. Midtown 36th floor penthouse. It’s gorgeous in NY this week. Kind of Fall-like weather. Not bad. I guess nature is playing along with no fly July.
More NY impressions…
Morning way up north at the cloisters. A visit to the conservatory gardens in central park. Excellent tapas at Txikito. Comedy at the upright citizens brigade. Late nightcap at Ayza wine bar.
The Cloisters
A walk down the high line after a very late but decent breakfast at the Petit Poulet (right across the street from the apartment) is a good way to start the day. Follow that with coffee at the superb Happy Bones. Then a first visit to the 9-11 Memorial museum. When you go, plan to spend over 3 hours.
Liam Finn at the Poisson Rouge
A late night begins at Le Poisson Rouge (LPR) for a Liam Finn show. Great show. Excellent use of charisma. Followed by midnight dinner at the Blue Ribbon.
Liam Finn also loves customer 42 (starbucks identity of NPS)
Sunday included a trip up the Empire State Building next door, a visit to the Brooklyn flea market (meh), lunch #2 at The Meatball Shop, an Iranian film (close curtain) at Film Forum and dinner at L’Asso.
The apartment and its tall next door neighbor.
Way down there is the roof of the apartment.
Time to go home (on the Acela).
Back in Wilmington, NC at the Hilton
June 13, 2014
What happens when you drive down to the Stick? You have to stay at the crappy Hilton in Wilmington, NC. Um, yay? Here we are again. But we must say that this room 829 is better than the junior suite from years past. Only three of us crammed in here this time.
Nice view on the river side. If you like WWII battleships especially.
Boat.
The hamster cage persists at the Hilton. Nice to finance Paris’ nonsense.
Please pick a cage. They are all the same. This one is 829.
Two tiny beds.
Please make yourself small and comfortable in this bed.
The other half of the room.
Of course the shower is plastic. And the sink is curvy.
Yuck.
Anyway, screw this Hilton and its awfulness. On to the rest of Wilmington (which is a delightful little town for the most part.
First we stopped by Circa 1922 for some average cocktails. They make a mean French 75, but their ice needs work. We made the most watery Corpse Reviver #2 ever and followed that with a drink w/o ice.
French 75
1 oz gin (London dry)
brown sugar cube
.5 oz lemon juice
champagne to top
Mix the first three ingredients and add champagne in a flute. Lemon twist.
Dinner was at the not so cleverly named “The Little Dipper” fondue restaurant. Meh. My parents made way better fondue in the ’70s.
Never fear, though, there is a cover band called the “Breakfast Club.” They played Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” Ah. What more does Wilmington need?
No stars whatsoever for the Hilton. They should burn this place down and start over. But tomorrow is the Stick.
Perhaps you feel the same way as we do about Disney. If you love it, stop reading this blog now. If you were sentenced to your Disney time when you had children, well so were we. If you did your time and escaped alive, well don’t come to this island.
After a very low key and pretty great week on Salt Cay (hold your horses, that entry after a glass sync)—lots of diving, great people, no A/C, sand, golf carts, island people politics, and donkeys, we flew Caicos Express to Provo—we were thrust directly and abruptly into Colonel Sanders mode or maybe now we call it Wolfgang Puck mode (same kind of huckster). True American garbage brand imported to the islands. Ouch. Welcome to Villa del Mar.
We went from this:
Salt Cay
To this (you will have to imagine the pretend clean smell):
Oooh that smell, can’t you smell that smell.
You can keep this place. Super bad “live” music a la Casio blared on arrival with volume not compensating for competence, trees lit by blue (the new red) LED lights, cloroflourocarbons in tens of parts per million ruining the room air, overly clean hamster cage hell, plastic bowls for your free econo-lodge style breakfast, this is it. The people are great, and they are woefully confused by the American consumer’s propensity for schlock.
Open all doors, air out the artificial atmosphere.
Our advice? Skip provo (or work better Net magic than we did), spend your time in hell after you die, and head straight to Salt Cay and its petty island politics.
At least there is an outside patio for this hamster cage.
But as Turks and Caicos virgins, who is gonna warn you? Maybe this blog?? OK hopefully. Glimmer on hope.
We are trapped in C102. The bathroom looks like this, so maybe our shower-related heuristic is not scaling in the Caribbean.
The shower, she not plastic. But everything else, she very plastic.
We leave you with two showerheads and a blue tree. Not returning, ever.
Unnaturally blue.
Oh, almost forgot. Magnolias is a very decent restaurant. Nice dishes. Dated but decent wine list (featuring picks by that a-hole Robert Parker). Great sweeping terrace view of the bay. Go there and sleep on the streets.
Please to be Giving us More Interwebs
March 1, 2014
Those of us on noplasticshowers have been on the interwebs since 1985. We have some claims to fame such as: we stood up node 400 on the web in 1993, we wrote a chapter 10 of the first book ever sold on amazon, and we wrote the first book in the world on software security.
But nevermind all that. When we’re on the road, we need us some interwebs.
So what’s the problem? Well, even our favorite hotel chain has net that can be overloaded by 6 hamsters surfing porn simultaneously. Throw in a conference of 25,000 geeks and the net no workie.
Next: brand new wings at SFO have gorgeous architecture but can you get net? No. SFO Architecture sans Net The designers thought more about electricity than bits. (At least they are halfway there.)
Then there is the supreme suckiness that is United airlines. Delta has wifi. United has mandatory ads on DirecTV but no net. United really sucks these days.
Having no net is like having no oxygen. Please universe, to be giving us more interwebs on the road!!
Kimpton Where Are You? Hartford, CT Marriott
February 10, 2014
Again I find myself at a sub-optimal hotel. This time mostly because Hartford, CT appears to be off the hipster beaten path. At least my friend Drew is accumulating Marriott points! The Marriott Hartford seems to be like most Marriotts. You can decide whether that’s a good thing.
This is a plastic shower. Bane of this blog’s existence.
The rather unfortunate report on the shower is that not only is it plastic and over a tub, but also the hot water is tepid and there is no water pressure. Because the pressure is bad, the plastic showerhead does not work properly. All of this results in the worst shower of 2014, and sets the bar nice and low. Life is too short for a bad shower.
Hamster cages for everyone. Even Drew’s super Elite status lands you a room like this.
Bedroom 717.
TV homage. Bedroom 717.
Tiny plastic bathroom 717.
At least the concierge floor is on 21 and there is a nice view and some almost acceptable net.
Frozen tundra from the Concierge Lounge.
There’s just not much more else to say. Two lowly showerheads and no surprise for this place.
On the restaurant side of things, Max Downtown is world class, but standard issue. Want a good meal? Max will do it. Decent wine list and a great slab of cow.
United Gold->Platinum Ripoff
February 10, 2014
This week, United sent me some dead tree mail “offering” a “limited-time opportunity to ensure Platinum status for 2014.” Seems that I only flew 68K miles on United, so I need 7000 more to make Platinum this year (what used to be 100K).
Guess how much United wants to charge me for that? $1449.00
Wrong.
United, after 1.5M miles and ten years of 100K status, you have sealed your fate with this nonsense. I’m flying any other airline I can find this year. Too bad IAD is a United hub.
Jeff Smisek somehow managed to break the United loyalty program.
It’s 2014 and United Airlines Sucks
February 4, 2014
Two months in a row without flying anywhere. But I have to go to LA for the first trip of 2014. What kind of seat can I get for my 100K status and 1.5 million (that’s MILLION) miles? How about a crappy economy window seat! Yay?
United airlines just sucks.
Jeff Smisek, are you still the CEO? You should be compensated like the CEO of the Greyhound bus lines. That’s what you operate now.
United airlines new plane.
No fly Noel 2013
December 1, 2013
No question about it, 2013 was a rough year of travel. My plan to do around 30 trips turned into a complete FAIL with a 40% higher than planned 42 trips. Ouch.
In 2014 I am getting serious about travel reduction. My plan for next week is to create a centralized travel plan for 2014 WAY ahead of time and stick to it. You heard it here first—I am shooting for 20 trips max next year. Truncated air travel will be accompanied by revitalized business-related guest house usage at Coal Stove Sink. It’s better to have guests here at my house than it is to fly around too much. I guess that will mean fewer talks as well.
The 2014 Tripometer does not lie: TOO MUCH TRAVEL
To add insult in injury in the too much travel department, United airlines continued to suck throughout 2013. I am not a fan of busses, and airplanes have become busses somehow. Just awful.
Even with all of those trips, I managed to accumulate only 68,691 miles on United which means my status is going to drop to Gold (where because of my lifetime 1,527,990 miles it will bottom out forever). United, I am done with you. (Hey Jeff Smisek, you suck so much you just lost a loyal customer.)
Fortunately I had much better luck with hotels. Kimpton rocks my little travel world. Hopefully I can keep that going in 2014.
For now, I look forward to resting my weary bones beside the fire during December. Much needed battery recharging begins now.
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