Why United is Just Awful
October 5, 2014
Only since the ill-fated merger have I flown economy class to/from Europe because of no upgrade. That is just awful. You would think that after 1,578,471 miles (which I paid for) United would have some loyalty to me. But they don’t.
Ten years of 100K status drops fast. Be forewarned United flyers. Your airline does not care about you at all.
This last trip to London/Helsinki was no exception. Business class on the way there (which we paid to upgrade at purchase) but no upgrade from economy on the way back. 8.5 hours in an awful seat with terrible food.
seat 23G in economy on an international flight. @united should know why i have no loyalty. sadly, stuck at … https://t.co/GBxvALsBrT
— noplasticshower (@noplasticshower) October 3, 2014
First world problem, I know. But frankly I expect more from an airline that used to earn my business.
United has gone to the dogs.
The Zetter Townhouse London
September 29, 2014
View from Zetter Townhouse room 11
Yes, its a gray and rainy day in London. Nothing at all surprising about that. But at the Zetter all is sunny and bright (in a virtual way). I’ve been a guest at this hotel multiple times and have quaffed many a cocktail at the Zetter Townhouse next door. This trip I am staying in the Townhouse itself, up on the third floor in room 11.
Rooms in the Townhouse have the same quirky design as the downstairs lounge. Antiques, old art, stuffed cats, fancy columns all thrown together willy nilly to nice effect.
Room 11’s quirky collection of flotsam.
A huge gilded tub prevails
Though the bedroom includes a huge gilded tub, there is a glass shower cube tucked away in the black and white tiled bathroom.
Glass shower cube beats the mother ship
Best of all, upon my very early arrival from the other side of the pond, room 11 was ready to be immediately occupied. Short nap. Hot shower. We’re off to a good start.
Workshop coffee just across the street serves breakfast at all hours. And they make an espresso that even jOHN would approve of.
There’s nothing quite like a visit to the Tate Modern in an arrival fugue state to make life seem any more surreal than normal.
Telephone call for a Mr Dali
Kandinski and the very beginning of abstraction
An early business dinner at Tramshed rounds out the first evening. Cow in formaldehyde with a chicken on its back.
Damian Hirst was here
And not to outdo the lesbian petting in the gents, there’s this.
Right.
To recover, a Liberal is in order, perfectly made at the classy Zetter Townhouse bar.
The Liberal
Night two included dinner at the modern pantry (right next door to the Zetter Townhouse). Interesting and very eclectic food that is hit or miss. Make sure not to skip the black sesame for dessert.
A nightcap at the Townhouse was going well until some jackass showed up at the bar and insisted on picking a fight?! Easy enough to walk away, but not the sort of thing you expect at an upscale establishment. I did not wait for the situation to be resolved, but simply headed upstairs. (Note: Management seems to have ignored this situation completely. Nobody said a thing the next morning. Hmm.)
But before that, we experimented with a couple of El Presidente inspired cocktails by Bobbie. Experiment 1:
40 cl myers rum
10 cl byrhh
10 cl fino dry sherry
5 cl grenadine
2.5 cl fernet
stir. serve up in a champagne glass.
Experiment 2:
40 cl myers rum
10 cl byrhh
5 cl fino dry sherry
5 cl grenadine
2.5 cl fernet
stir. serve up in champagne glass.
The only issue with this drink was inferior rum. A cuban anejo barrel proof would be ideal. Or maybe even mount gay eclipse. Will work this one at home.
On a final note, a reservations mix-up made by my (usually incredibly excellent) travel agent when the trip was refactored to add Helsinki resulted in an extra night’s charge from the Zetter. [At first we said: I find it surprising that management did not opt to eat the charge. Bad on you Zetter for policy fascism. We will remember. But then management read the entry and reconsidered their position. Glad they did the right thing in the end. Thanks Zetter. See you again soon.]
The Zetter Gets Even Better: London
March 10, 2014
As self-proclaimed creatures of habit, those of us here at noplasticshowers have spent some time at the Zetter Hotel in London (see previous entries). Arriving early this morning was not a problem. Room 503 as ready, and a hot shower was in order.
One pleasant surprise, the Zetter has seriously upgraded its Internet system. World class upload speeds are rare. This is a good thing indeed.
Pleasant surprise number two. I was recognized by multiple staff members today, including the manager on duty Fabian Sanchis. That is very nice.
Pleasant surprise number three. It was sunny. That didn’t last long!
The balcony off 503 on a sunny morning.
The balcony off 503 on a sunny morning.
Sunny desk niche.
Sunny bedroom with lots of windows.
The shower situation is still non-optimal, but pretty good. The showerhead is worth noting.
A quick trip to nearby Workshop Coffee for breakfast was in order. Tonight its back to the Modern Pantry right next door for a business dinner. And then if some extra energy arrives from outer space, a visit to the Zetter Townhouse for a nightcap.
It’s a five showerheads day.
Travel Perfection
March 10, 2014
Sometimes a plan just comes together perfectly. This trip has been that way so far.
First, a fantastic fun-filled weekend capped by a walk along the Shenandoah River with dear friends. Then a prime level 2 parking spot at Dulles. A leisurely stroll through TSApre with no line at all; time for a sandwich and a glass of wine. A gate right next door to Vino Volo.
Smooth boarding on a new 777. A business class pod. Actual sleep on the plane (having a fun filled weekend is key to that). A friendly flight attendant. A walk through customs with no line. Suitcase swinging around just as I arrived at baggage claim.
A direct walk to the Heathrow Express which arrived in 30 seconds. A clear shot cab ride from Paddington to the Zetter.
Room 503 ready to go. A hot shower. Much improved Net.
It’s all going right.
Lets Compare Showers (London, Paris, & Florence Edition)
March 31, 2013
How do London, Paris, and Florence compare shower-wise in our ultra-scientific three data point shower comparison experiment?
 London. |
 Paris |
 Florence |
Florence wins, hands down. Curvy glass, superb water pressure, and not really large enough to fit really fat Americans.
Paris comes in a close second, suffering only from not enough light to determine whether the soap is working.
Alas, poor London drags in way last. Hot water that has a life of its own (it’s hot, it’s cold, you can’t tell, jump!), variable pressure, shower curtain over a tub. Too many shower-oriented bugs to overlook.
Shower in Florence if you get a chance.
How about art?
We’ll have to give that to the Pompidou Center in Paris. I’m afraid my preference for modern art over so many tortured Renaissance Jesuses is showing!
Food?
Though there were many memorable meals to be had, the best meal on this journey was experienced along with some superior jazz in Florence at the Golden View Open Bar. Chez Oscar in Paris comes in a close second due to the warmth and hospitality of the owners who also happen to make a great duck confit.
And mixology?
London hands down, where the Zetter Townhouse now feels about as much like home as a bar 3738 miles from home can feel. Thanks to Kamil Foltan, Aga, Nikko, Will, and everyone else for making us welcome.
Experimental design.
The British Ministry of Obscure Planning Ministry
March 30, 2013
Landed on Alitalia flight from Rome. Got through customs after a series of rather silly questions (given that we were just here last Sunday with the same passport numbers and everything). Had to dig up the address of the hotel in order to fill out the form properly.
Went to catch the Heathrow Express. The ticket office person sitting at the desk was “closed,” though present. Got tickets from a machine.
Went down to catch the train from Terminal Four where we landed. The instructions as to how exactly to do this from Terminal Four were not at all clear. I can only imagine what all of the Italians were thinking?! (Probably felt right at home actually.) Only the British can set up a system that obscure knowing full well that many thousands of visitors have to use it every day!
The Ministry of Silly Walks must run the Heathrow Express.
Had to take the train from Terminal Four Platform Two to Terminals 1,2, & 3 to catch the Heathrow Express after crossing from Platform One where we disembarked to Platform Two. Directions? Unclear. Electronic signs? Designed by a chimpanzee. Eventually, after an hour and twenty minutes had elapsed we caught the Heathrow Express.
Meanwhile, the Department of Dinner Reservations back at the Zetter had hit a snag after the reservation plan I asked them to execute last night failed at step 2 (call restaurant). The restaurant I had requested was already full! So the obvious thing to do is wait to let me find out after my five hours of flying-related blackhole comms? Uh, no.
Argh. Great Britain, what has become of you?
Hotel Original Loves Itself Madly in Paris
March 24, 2013
Arriving from London on the Chunnel Eurostar is interesting. I’ve done the channel, but not the chunnel. The chunnel needs net. But it’s fast.
The Hotel Original is in Marais very close to the Bastille metro. Incredibly easy to get to from almost anywhere in Paris (including Gare du Nord where the London train “lands”). That’s good. But it’s on the very busy boulevard Beaumarchais in 11. Get a room in the back if you can.
The design here is cheeky and stylish and about as in your face as can be. But it’s a great space even if it does love itself madly as it looks at itself in the mirror. Perhaps a better name might have been Hotel Narcissus, eh? The joker could play the role of Demeter.
Who’s purple? Original (not ordinary).
The staff is very nice. Friendly and willing to sacrifice their cell phone number for Musee D’Orsay tickets. The space is striking inside—well lit and quirky with fiber lights in the form of jellyfish swimming liberally throughout the halls.
Room 205 (the joker) is super. And super tiny. This is Paris, but NY is NY, Boston is Boston, and San Francisco is San Francisco. Meaning, there are bigger rooms to be found in this city in boutique hotels. I just don’t know where they are yet.
Magic entrance.
Just don’t turn on the lights.
The bathroom glass cube shower (!) helps the room seem bigger.
Bathroom lurking in the corner.
Check that out. A glass shower cube.
Store your stuff in the hall though.
No room for your toothbrush here.
Neon threesome?
The joker looms.
Paris has gorgeous boulevards.
Our welcome to Paris was complete with a superb and simple meal at Chez Oscar. Man do the French know how to cook! In the end, our meal at Chez Oscar was the most memorable and fun because the owners (Oscar and Marina) were fantastic. We went back to visit them throughout the visit.
Mixology? Maybe, but not on Dimanche or Lundi. Or maybe not.
In any case, the Hotel Original is a four showerheads location. A very nice little boutique with some minor drawbacks (you can choose either a noisy room or a tiny room, but not a large quiet room from what we can tell).
Gorgeous blue on a Lundi.
Speaking of Lundi, our visit to the Pompidou was superb. Lunch at Les Bonne Soeurs was very nice indeed. Dinner at Minimes was not quite as good as the drinks (they can now make a Liberal) or the atmosphere, but was nothing to complain that loudly about. We had more fun the first night eating further down the food chain.
Martedi included some time at Musee D’Orsay (where advanced tickets were necessary and helped us avoid another very long line). There was also the obligatory retail at LaFayette, a superb bistrot dinner with Stephano at Chez Andre, and a night visit to the Eiffel tower.
I take picture of clock. (Musee D’Orsay)
 The retail big top. |
 Ring one of the retail circus. |
Vive la france.
Back to the Zetter in London
March 19, 2013
I was just here at the Zetter in November and was completely psyched to find a hotel that did not suck in London. The Zetter and the Zetter Townhouse way do not suck.
Somewhat miraculously, United did the right thing by me on this trip to Europe with in advance upgrades on both ends. (Isn’t it ironic that merely acceptable behavior by United is so rare that it deserved kudos?!) So maybe I was in a great mood even on 3 hours of “plane sleep.” No matter what it was, though, the Zetter staff made me feel immediately welcome on my arrival.
The Zetter as seen from Workshop Coffee.
The front desk staff kindly allowed me to use room 101 to take a shower in the morning since someone was still in the room I was ultimately destined to stay in. Room 101 is great for a shower.
 Room 101 TV. |
 Room 101 shower (ahhhh). |
Room 101 is about the same size as its bed.
But even after breakfast and a shower, I still had some time to kill before my room was ready, so I headed over to the Zetter Townhouse to get some work done. I was met by head barman and gracious host Kamil Foltan. He and I sat in the back getting work done and chatting every once in a while for a couple of hours. Finally, room 503 was ready. It was worth the wait.
Eyes to the right.
Room 503. Curved windows overlooking the city.
Eyes to the left.
The work nook. Sadly, lots of actual work is happening here.
I must admit that the bathroom on 503 could use an update. The shower is pretty good, but it does have a shower curtain. You all know how we feel about that around here!
 Smallish bathroom through the door. |
 We will pretend this curtain is glass. |
I guess over on this side of the pond they have not yet started to install insanely large tubs that I never have time to use next to a glass shower cube. Alas.
The view and the gorgeous balcony more than makes up for the bathroom.
View from 503 balcony.
The new London pyramid and a cathedral share the skyline. Classic London.
Too bad about the weather though. Rainy and gray. Oh well, that was to be expected. All in all a five showerheads rating for the Zetter again. Great space, great staff, excellent all around.
London from the Tate Modern restaurant. Rain rain rain.
Coffee Workshop wallpaper. ARRRR!
In other London news, the Clerkenwell neighborhood remains interesting. The best coffee I have ever had in London can be found at Workshop Coffee just down the street from the Zetter. Mixology at the Zetter Townhouse is still in full swing (I must admit that I go for more boozy and bitter than they seem to have taste for on their menu, but you can get a Liberal!!). The Tate Modern is one of my favorite all time museums (loved the Sphinx by Fini).
Petit Sphinx Ermite by Leonor Fini (Tate Modern)
Inside the Zetter Townhouse. View from the couch (which was almost denied us by the little girl minding the door).
Superb dinner at Moro.
Kamil introduced me to a new rum at the Zetter Townhouse. Almost as good as Havana Club Cuban cask strength Anejo. Wow. And get this, it’s from Venezuela.
Santa Teresa 1796 rum from Venezuela.
A dinner right next door at The Modern Pantry included one of the best desserts I have ever been served in an upscale restaurant. We had some trouble with the Zetter front desk getting dinner set up, but persistence paid off.
Another restaurant worth mentioning is The Tramshed where you can find great steak, a cow in formaldehyde (Damien Hirst), and lesbian petting in the gents.
This is not the cow you’re looking for.
After dinner we went for a romp through Happiness Forgets (which was obviously teleported in from NY) and the Artesian at the Langham which is just a bit too posh for its own good, for example proudly proclaiming itself the “best bar in the world.” Happiness Forgets is excellent indeed. Artesian? Meh. Though the rum selection really is the best I have ever seen.
We handle posh by ordering this:
A posh drink with a purple skull phone from Artesian.
United Does Something Good
March 11, 2013
I know it’s hard to believe, but United just did something good for a change. I was just upgraded on my flight back from London in a couple of weeks. Ahead of time. Without a waiting list. Just like the pre-merger days.
Being upgraded on the way out is WAY more important than upgrading on the way back (of course), so I work that upgrade at time of purchase. I’m too old to fly economy overnight to Europe anymore. But the way back is also an 8.5 hour flight which is a long time to be stuck in economy.
Back in the old days we used to save our “global certs” for just this possibility. It’s nice to see them working again.
Zetter Hotel London
November 12, 2012
I may have finally found a noplasticshowers-worthy hotel in London (there must be zillions of them, but I keep not finding them somehow). The Zetter Hotel is located slightly off the beaten path in Clerkenwell.
A very early check in was available for me at 9am after I made my way from Heathrow (via the express train to Paddington of course). The short taxi ride from Paddington in typically awful London traffic was a standard London “welcome” to pair with the dreary gray day. After all that, it’s really nice to relax and have a hot shower.
I am in room 501, one of the rooftop terrace rooms. It is microscopic but very chic.
The room is up a short set of steps from the door. The terrace overlooks (dreary) London.
Orange. Yes, orange.
At least the TV shrine has hip seating.
Now on to the shower situation. Which is…interesting.
 A small but stylish bathroom. No plastic in sight. |
 A very interesting shower head built into the ceiling with a light. |
The shower head is so interesting that I thought I would go for a noplasticshowers first. Video.
Other interesting features of 501 include the terrace.
The famed rooftop terrace.
Though the view is not exactly awe inspiring like the one at 70Park.
London.
Then again, it looks great in the morning.
London in the morning.
And in late breaking news, when I returned to the room after a long day of meetings I was greeted with a personal note and some chocolates:
From the department of better late than never, a welcome note and some chocolates.
The Zetter is a five showerheads place.
On the mixology front, the Zetter has an associated property around the back called the Zetter Townhouse which has an absolutely world class bar. The scene is relaxed and very eclectic with a superb and subtle staff. After an appropriate period of authentication, I connected with barman Nicola Piazza. We talked Amer Picon, absinthe, and calvados. I tried one of Nicola’s experimental beverages (among other drinks).
The Zetter Townhouse is excuse enough alone to stay at the Zetter.
I returned Tuesday night and spent some time working with Kamil Foltan (head bartender) who was even more knowledgeable and just as fun. We talked bourbon and rye. He mentioned 69 Collebroke Row and Birds & Tail as very good bars to try in the future. Also a sushi place called Tetsu Sushi (Jerusalem Lane). One of the drinks we played with is called
Ward 8
1 oz Bourbon (or Rye as the case may be we used Rittenhouse 100)
.5 Lemon
.5 Orange
.5 Grenadine (dry)
2 dashes Angustora
2 dashes Amargo Chuncho
(Unrelated data on NY bars: Dead Rabbit and Mulberry Project.)
This afternoon, I spent 3 hours at the Tate Modern. Mind boggling. I am now officially in a weird mood.
We’ll leave you with this.
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